The End of The Week...

Yesterday was pretty much a disaster. Have you ever had one of those days when everything goes wrong? That was how it was for me. I had invited Zack for dinner - by 8 pm I had not heard a word and that pissed me off big time.The day had been full of it's own trials and tribulations and this was the last straw. I got an email form Zack at 8 pm - He had just got to my email and was now going to pick up his wife. I was so pissed!!! I think it was the day, because I really shouldn't have been so angry or upset, but I was.. I was even throwing things! I left him a voice message at his office. I don't remember what I said, but I know it wasn't very nice.

This morning, when he got to the office, he got my voice message, and although it was only a few words, he certainly got the point. He called me immediately and I could tell he was pissed as well. He asked if he could come over - immediately. Of course I said yes.

To say he was upset would be an understatement. There was no Mistress and slave. We had our first fight - we have been together for 3 years and have never fought before. He yelled, I yelled. The whole thing was a total misunderstanding - he thought the dinner invitation was for Friday when it was for Thursday. But the stress we both have been under caused us both to hit the wall. Suddenly, he started to laugh. I saw the tension in his face completely melt away. Fifteen minutes later we were in each others arms, and he was begging me to fuck him. He was feeling so much better - less stressed, happier - but I was still pissed  He wanted to please me, he wanted me to use him for my pleasure. Well,, still being a little pissed, I was not going to give him what he wanted - he needed to suffer a little first. I tried so hard to be hard, to be tough with him. But when I gave him a very stern NO, the look on his pathetic face (that face I truly do love to fuck), the tears welling up in his eyes melted this Mistress's heart. Suddenly fucking him was what I wanted, what I needed more than anything.

I grabbed him by the hair and wrenched his head back, glaring into his eyes. I growled "you pathetic spineless slut, get your fucking clothes off NOW!" He damn near came right there.

He got his clothes off and got on his knees. He asked for a cock ring so he wouldn't cum. It has been a long time for him - months, even. He does not have sex with his wife. He would prefer he not be allowed to cum because he wants to focus solely on  my pleasure. He feels like he has been a good boy if he doesn't cum and I get my pleasure. I denied him the cock ring. I had plans.

I ordered him onto the bed, I straddled him. His cock was HUGE. I was so wet in anticipation of  how that gorgeous piece of meat was going to feel . Grabbing him by the hair, biting his ear, I guided his cock inside me. As I took it all, he gasped, his eyes glazed over - he was suddenly in subspace. And the feeling was amazing. As I began to move I knew this was not going to take very long - I was going to cum, and cum hard, and I wanted him to cum with me. As I felt myself climbing to the summit, I whispered in his ear "you fucker, you better cum, and cum RIGHT NOW!" He groaned; "no, just take your pleasure, just use me".  I told him again to cum NOW. He didn't need to be told again - he exploded inside me. I felt the heat of his juices and the heat ejected me over the top and his mind was blown at the same time. I collapsed on top of him. Fucking him this morning was totally delicious. But I knew what this would do to Zack. I knew that this was going to exhaust him - he has not been sleeping and this kind of fucking wipes him out completely - and he had to get back to work. Very soon. There was no time for a nap for him. I was exhausted.

I sent him on his way. He was happy, I was happy. Life is good. Very good. I am hoping we can plan some quality time - a few hours _ next week to really get down and dirty. I have a deep need to dominate; Zack is feeling the same need for submission. Time will tell.

I may see him tomorrow afternoon - I am keeping my fingers crossed, but I am not applying any pressure. It will happen if it is supposed to.
In hindsight - the fight this morning WAS kind of hot.
I truly do love this man.

Sarah

Another Day...

I am at the apartment - I really must post some pictures here - it is nothing "special", not really, but I feel so at peace when I arrive. I now spend 2 nights a week here. It's closer to my work, although my husband isn't happy when I don't come home every night. Oh, he doesn't talk to me and we don't do anything - I get home and spend the evening in my room - he just likes me to be there. I do believe he is trying too CONTROL me!!! Oh, how little he knows.

I spoke with Zack last night. He sounds better. He was laughing at me because next week I have to use public transit to get back and forth from the apartment to the hotel. I can not tell you how long it has been since I have been on a bus. He is going to take me on a few trips so i will know what to do. This should be fun!

I am so hoping I get to see him later.. I NEED to see him later, but I do not want to push. Right now I can't be his Mistress, right now he needs my support. He does not need to worry about pleasing me. Mistress or not, I want to protect him, take care of him, keep him safe and happy. I think that is what frustrates me the most right now - I can't get the chance to be there for him.

I'm getting some ink done this afternoon. I want some color on my voodoo tattoo. Zack loves the tattoos - he says they actually hypnotize him.. especially when I am on top of him, have his arms firmly secured to the headboard, with his cock (that big gorgeous cock that I love sooooo much) buried deep inside me. He says the entire scene captivates him so much he never wants it to end. I like that..

If I get him over here tonight, I am going to have him post here. He knows about our readers and how supportive you have been. I want him to let you know how much he appreciates it.
Stay tuned...

Sarah

For Our Amazing Friends...

You know what? you guys are amazing!!!

Our difficult times continue, and Ket, we definitely need a vacation - we both need to get some alone time and away time > alone together and away from all the crap. I'm actually doing a little better than Zack, though. He agrees he needs to take a vacation from work, but then he says if he isn't at work he has to be home with his crazy wife - she now has pictures of Jesus all around their apartment and makes him kiss the pictures!! She is delusional and mentally ill, but he doesn't know what to do with her, so he just keeps taking care of her. He is the most gentle, giving soul.

We connected last week. It was actually pretty funny.
We both needed to get our needs fulfilled... mine to Dominate, and his to submit, so we arranged to meet at the apartment at 5:30. At quarter to 6, there was Zack at the window.. he forgot his keys!! There I was, all decked out in my leather corset, fishnet stockings, gorgeous gorgeous thigh high leather boots (see the picture below) and he needs me to come out and open the door to the building! Oh, for fuck's sake!! LOL. I threw on a robe (it did not cover everything) and streaked out to let him in, praying to God none of the neighbors spotted me.
 He looked terrible - thin in the face, pale and so very very tired. I knew he actually had not had a real meal in a long while - stopping to only grab snacks - so I had cooked for him (this was the first time, besides breakfast) - grilled chicken, roasted baby potatoes, steamed brocollini and salad. It was wonderful to watch him eat, and he ate everything. he was starting to feel pretty good.

I then told him to assume his position - naked and on his knees which he did immediately and obediently. I had recently purchased some door restraints that I wanted to try out by issuing a flogging. Silly me, I didn't take into account that the guy is 6'2". Stringing him up there was a dismal failure.

But, I went easy on him - he was just too tired to be expected to be subjected to my play. I care about him and his welbeing, I love him too much to push him that hard when he is so fragile. Instead, I just got him on the floor and fuck the daylights out of him - and no he wasn't allowed to come. Do you know how amazing he is? His cock was so huge, so rock hard because he was so aroused, but he still held back - He gets great pleasure out of doing that because he knows it makes me happy. I was happy.

We were supposed to have a few of hours - but his stupid wife called right then and he had to go pick her up from wherever the hell she was. So, we fucked, he ate, we professed our undying love and he left - only for us both to come crashing down again the next day.

He says the workload at the office is diminishing again, so he is feeling a bit better - getting the things done that he needed to. I'm trying to get him to convince his wife he has to go to a conference for a couple of days - then I would scoop him up and sweep him away to some remote place for 2 days of fucking, eating and sleeping. He has a sister who lives in Tennesee, I even suggested we could go there since his wife wants nothing to do with his family. Anyway, come hell or highwater, I have got to make things better for him somehow. I wish I could win the lottery - I would buy him away from his wife and employer. I told him that and he was instantly hard. He loves the idea of me owning him lock stock and barrel.
someday, baby, someday..

Sarah

Who Ever Said...

Whomever said "love conquers all" was the biggest bloody fool this world has ever spawned.
It doesn't. Neither does fucking.
Sarah

Here I Am Again....

We are having a really tough time right now. Oh, not with each other so much, but life is fucking with us both big time. We are both going through a depression; I truly think that we are so cosmically in sync that when one of us is doing poorly, the other one is as well. I think it actually began with Zack, and I unwittingly made it worse. It began with me one day when I was suddenly struck with a huge sense of foreboding- that there was something terribly wrong with Zack. Of course, me being me, I kept at him about "what was going on" which stressed him even more.
I can go into great detail but I won't. Its enough to say we are both experiencing a significant depression right now. Neither of our lives are going as we would like and it's bringing us down. We saw each other briefly last evening, and it surprised me to find that I had no emotional reserve, to learn that I didnt have the emotional strength to be there for him, to even spend time with him.
What I did discover is that I desperately need to fuck him. I don't need a bunch of time, I don't need talk, I just need unadulterated fucking. Just like people do after a death, I need this now - need the physicality of the act to confirm that I, and Zack, are indeed still alive. I think Zack would benefit as well, although he feels he doesn't have the time or energy of it. I think 15 min in the backseat of the fuckmobile would work wonders.

To My Readers..

I gave it one more valiant effort. I have been unsuccessful. This blog no longer holds any of the fun or interest that it has in the past.

I'll leave it up, but I won't be writing for you any longer.

You don't contribute.. you don't feed my need.  I hate to think I am soooo shallow, but I guess I am. Zack doesn't come here unless he is ordered to.
I have a saying..
"If it is important to you, you will find a way. If it isn't important to you, you'll find an excuse"

There really isn't any more to say so, I'm leaving.. I am pretty sure I won't be back.

I hope you have enjoyed what we've written for you over the past 10 months. It's been fun.

Ciao..

Sarah

Should I Feel Bad?

Poor Zack, he has a sore tongue. He's lucky he doesn't have a sore ass; Oh, right. One day he will.
I have to admit.. I truly love fucking that boy's face. I guess it's a bonus for Zack as he says he loves it too.. but poor boy if the day ever comes, when he doesn't enjoy it.. because it will happen regardless and as often as I like, whenever I like.

Just so you know, Zack. The red underwear is a beginning. I know it isn't your "style" (exactly what is your style?  Inquiring minds want to know..), but you better get used to new things coming your way - whenever and whatever I chose. This time, there wasn't lace panties, a hood and another boy toy waiting for you to arrive. That doesn't mean there never will be...

Mistress Sarah and my face

Mistress Sarah did something yesterday morning that she has never done before.

She fucked my face three times during one visit. Each of her orgasms was more powerful than the previous one.

That's not all. She also instructed me how I must dress in her company. This, too, was new. When I entered the apartment, I was thinking about her earlier instructions: I must strip naked and wear whatever is on the stool by the door.

I did not know what to expect. I wondered if she might even have a hood there, and force me into a situation where there could be a third person in the bedroom.

This wasn't the case. Instead, she had me wear red underwear and a smooth, tight tank top.

She was mostly asleep when I entered, but she quickly woke up and was very affectionate. This time, she wasn't the Dominant Bitch. It's probably for the best. I was exhausted and stressed, and Sarah always seems to know how to calibrate things just right.

Today, I have a sore tongue. I think I know why. I have no regrets. It was an incredible morning—a spectacular escape for me.

I want more. I love Mistress Sarah. I can't wait until her new boots arrive.

Zack
xoxox

Another Fabulous Friday...

What a great day....
I was out of town on business all week, arriving back at tbe apartment last evening. Zack arranged to get the morning off of work to come and play.. and play we did.  The morning wasn't an intense Domination session - oh, Zack definitely knew who was in charge, that's for sure. He was perfectly behaved - followed every order I gave, met all my needs. I can't think of a single thing he could have done differently or better. He even wore the new Calvin Kline underwear I bought him. oh, he felt very very good in it. There is more Calvin in his future - even if the only place he wears it is with me. Well, he did grumble a little, but I told him to suck it up - I could have bought him lace ladies panties to wear.. lol.
It's late afternoon, and I am deliciously tired. I feel all wrapped up in the love and devoton of my whore-boy. I'm going to have Zack write his perceptions of the morning here. I will give him a timeframe to get it done.
Let's see if he can uphold his current record of obedience.

Fusion...

This week was full of Zack. It was great. Although we didn't have huge amounts of time together we did take advantage of what we had. Wednesday was a particularly bad day for me - for any number of reasons. Soon after I got to the apartment, Zack arrived soon after. My bad mood couldn't possibly last very long when that puppy dog face was drooling all over me - if he had a tail he would have been wagging it furiously. And he had the same effect as my own puppies do. We lay on the bed, (much like I do with my puppies at home)  and as I stroked his head, I calmed. He listened to my venting and had his usual effect on me.

He came over this morning before work. Again, he lay in the bed with me - I had only woken up a short time before. It wasn't very long before I had that gorgeous cock in my mouth, taking him to the very edge, backing off and then bringing him to the edge again. I love teasing him like that and I have a strong suspicion he loves it as well. But I wanted more.
I got on top of him, held him down and took that cock deep inside me. He moaned - he loves it there. And I love it there as well. And I fucked him. Fucked him like he hasn't been fucked in quite sometime. I actually planned to leave his cock and fuck his face - when I do that I am in total control of him. But damn, it felt so good where I was, it felt so good having that big cock deep in side me as I rode it up and down. And suddenly, I didn't want to fuck him. he was actually doing a very good job holding off his orgasm, but suddenly what I wanted, what I NEEDED, was fusion - that infinitesimal moment when we join as one, when we fuse in that explosive moment together.

As I was peaking, I told him to cum - his immediate response was surprise - Really?" I said yes - and he came. Instantly. I felt his juices flood my insides, and the heat made my head explode. The feeling is quite indescribable.

Now I am out of town for a week. I wonder how Zack is feeling, and I wonder what kind of welcome home I will receive. By the time I get home, my new leather boots should have arrived, as well as the new leather accessories I have ordered. I think I will have to put a picture of those boots on here - just looking at them on line gives me a jolt.  Do they ever turn me on. When Zack can spare me a few hours, we are going to have a domination session like nothing else we have experienced - ever. Stay tuned.

Where's My Slutty Slave When I Need Him?

It's been a fucking shitty day. No details here, it will only piss me off more. If there were ever a time I needed to take full control over the situation, it's now. I could sure use a session with Zack. He's been asking for me to get rough with him and I could most definitely honor his wish tonight. Stringing him up and wailing on his ass for a while, then cutting him loose and fucking him senseless would do wonders for me.
Alas, I am at home and he is hard at work.
Fuck.

Mistress Sarah

The Best World..

...is the one I share with Zack. Although the rest of my family was well aware of the death of my brother, no one has been as insightful, or as caring as Zack. He knew what I needed, even when I didn't. I do not like to demonstrate any signs of "weakness" regardless of the situation. I did not want Zack to see my tears. I do not cry in front of anyone. But all he had to do was lay down on the bed and hold me, and I knew I was "safe" there in his arms. I knew I would not be judged.

We talked, and somehow I told him things I had never intended to tell him. You see, my parenting skills were never stellar and as one topic lead to another, he learned what I had been like as a mother. That troubles me. Those are weaknesses I do not want him to know about. If my kids have turned out to be great young adults it is most definitely in spite of me, not because of me.

I am not the same person now as I was then.  Regardless, I can't help but believe he must think less of me now.

Mistress spoiled her slut

Yesterday was incredible for me. Before work, I dropped by the apartment to visit Mistress. I was prepared to obediently remove all my clothes by the front door and leave them properly folded, and then kneel at the foot of the bed. But I heard her sneezing and, I suspected, crying. This is so unlike Mistress. She's so strong.

It turns out that she had just been informed of a death in the family, someone who was very troubled and whom she hadn't seen in a very long time. She was crying and I knew, as her devoted slave, job one was to comfort her and improve her mood.

I wanted Mistress to share her feelings and some memories, which she did. After a while, that beautiful smile emerged. And as I lay on the bed with her, I felt my arousal grow. I guess it was obvious when my head was nestled between her legs, kissing all around her pussy. She must have sensed my desire because she suddenly declared that she "wanted that cock".

And she unzipped my pants and started taking it in her mouth. Mistress likes teasing me in this way because she has forbidden me to come at these times. She was driving my wild. Eventually, she came to that place where she wanted to fuck my face, which she did so perfectly.

When I'm underneath her in this way, I'm powerless to do anything. Her pussy smothers my face and my tongue, and she grinds over me until she has her orgasm. These orgasms seem to be getting more intense for her as she becomes more and more accustomed to fucking slave's face.

I think it's because in that moment, she feels a strong sense of ownership and control—and that turns her on. There's nothing I can do when she's fucking me this way. I couldn't escape even if I wanted to, and I DON'T WANT TO ESCAPE AT THOSE TIMES.

I feel like I'm serving her like a slave in the court of Cleopatra. It's my destiny.

That wasn't all. I was so aroused by her that I snuck away from work later in the day for a short while. I was on my knees. She didn't seem like she wanted to fuck me at that time. But I asked if I could lie on the bed.

She eventually made the decision to remove all of her clothes except a very sexy bra and she mounted me. I was on the bottom, of course. Sarah fucked me with her wet pussy for a long, long time. For some reason, she thought my cock was bigger in the afternoon. I was just as aroused later in the day as I was in the morning for her.

She teased me, but she was also more Dominant, giving me strict instructions not to come. I could tell that she was serious. When she gets like this, she has a steely look of determination in her eye and her jaw juts forward ever so slightly in a look of aggression.

Her aggression is primal. I know what she is capable of at those times. I like experiencing this from time to time, even though it elicits fear with in me. I like it because it sets firm boundaries for me, as her slave, and centres me. The fear comes from knowing she's serious.

She said she likes it slow, and slow it was, as she fucked me and fucked me and fucked me. I wanted to make Mistress have an orgasm, but this was her show and she was in charge.

Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity, she mounted my face. After grinding over my face and my tongue, she had what appeared to me like an explosive orgasm.

Slave had done his job. I felt worthy of her love. I then returned to work.

Zack

A Good Slave Always Comes in Handy...

I got some bad news this week - a death in my family. The most support I have gotten so far has been from Zack - he wants to do whatever I need to feel better. I've been through this many times before at various times of my life, everyone has. But the first experience or the 10th, you don't get used to it.

I heard often from Zack yesterday - despite the situation, a slut is a slut is a slut. And there is no doubt Zack is a slut of incredible magnitude. A slut who knows how to use his wiles to quickly put me into my Mistress position with him. He reminds me of my dogs at home. They know exactly how to get the Alpha Bitch's, their Mistress's attention regardless of her mood or distractions. They always know how to make me feel better, how to ease any pain I might be experiencing. My dogs are very obedient, attentive and well behaved. And when they are well behaved they always get a treat. Zack is exactly like one of my dogs - he will do whatever he can to get my attention, to bring my mood to a better place, to make me forget whatever it is that is affecting me. And being the cheap whore boy he is, his "treat" goes so much further than a cookie.

I told him I was going to be at the apartment all day today and tomorrow. He asked me if it would be ok if he came for a visit. He just wanted to do anything to make me feel better - hold me, talk, whatever. I told him that I knew that a good deal of fucking is the best therapy for grief. I'm pretty sure that if it was a stern beating that would make me feel better, he would have withstood that for me. He would do anything or nothing. Whatever I want. 

I told him he could visit. I had laid down on the bed when I got here (it was very early); I was exhausted. I always totally relax when I am here. I quickly fell asleep. I woke up when he laid down beside me. It felt so great to lay there just snuggling. He had taken his clothes off except for his shorts and T shirt. We snuggled, we talked. Before long I had that cock in my mouth, taking him just to the edge- over and over. I got off the bed and stripped down to pink bra and panties (which I had worn specifically for Zack, btw.) What came next is best described by Zack himself. He just sent me this email about this morning:

He was very effective in getting my attention, he was successful in improving my mood. I do believe he even made the sun shine today for me. My whoring pet got his treat.

You gradually took control of the situation. It unfolded slowly.
I knew when you took my cock in your mouth that I was under your spell.
When you stripped down, stared at me, and left me wondering what was next, I really began moving into an alternate form of consciousness.
You started playing with me....
This intensified when you climbed on top of me. That bra makes your breasts look really, really sexy.
Then you were on top of me. My favourite position. I thought you were going to fuck my face, but you didn't.
You took my cock inside you. You had already told me that I was not allowed to come. But you made me feel so good. It feels so right being inside of you and you know how to move. you really know how to move...
then, you looked at me with more of a look of control. I like how you tell me that you don't care what I want.
I felt you're more Dominant nature surfacing.Then you straddled my chest. I knew what was coming.
I was your slave boy.
You moved on top of my face. I had come home to Mistress. As your arousal increased, I felt like I was a worthy slut for you.Your orgasm as explosive. So intense. I loved how you told me that you owned me as you groaned with pleasure.
I loved how you came all over my tongue.At that moment, I always feel so filled with love for you.
I love you very intensely at those times.
I was in subspace. I had forgotten about everything. 

You truly did own me. You'll always own me

Sarah's intuition

Mistress Sarah is really beginning to understand me. I feel our relationship is deepening, our trust is increasing, and we're realizing how truly nonjudgmental each of us is.

I'm very, very lucky to have her in my life.

Zack

Feeding the Whore's Hunger...

I have often said Zack is like a kid in a candy store. I truly don't know if there is anything like his thirst, his hunger, his greed. I believe him when he says he will do anything I ask - as long as I am the one in control of the situation and of him. That demonstrates a trust he has been slow to come to. I suspect we will be able to move along into a deeper M/s relationship more quickly as a result.. I know I want that - more than anything. Zack makes me feel almost invincible. He meets all my needs - my innate need to nurture and my thirst and passion to exercise my nature - Domination. He accepts me for all I am, and all I will become. It is so surreal, and yet, here we are. He repeatedly says he needs my control, my Domination but I do  need his submission easily as much - if not more.

Zack has asked me if I think his obsession with this M/s relationship is becoming pathological. Remember the little boy in the candy store? That little boy has always been there, deep inside of Zack, aching for an opportunity to explore that "store", to taste everything, to enjoy being allowed to explore, taste and experience everything without recrimination, without judgement and with only love and support. That is not pathology - that is freedom. For the first time in his life, he is free to explore his inner core, his true self and know that no matter what, he will not be abandoned, he will always be loved. He has that with me.
He is becoming more and more of a slut everyday. I am pretty sure Zack doesn't watch porn, but I do - all kinds. And as a result, I have all kinds of images going on in my mind, all kinds of games to possibly play. Zack seems eager to get that cock into his mouth (and vice versa) for me. This will very likely become another one of those activities he will say he is "forced" to do, but ends up actually begging for it in his head - just so I will be pleased and fuck him every which way but loose afterwards. My whore boy will always get what he wants, when he does what his Mistress wants and pleases her. Always.

But first things first. Before anything else happens, we have to move along to me gaining that level of control over him where I can fuck his ass the way I want so badly. This has to happen because I realise that what I want to eventually happen is me fucking his ass while he sucks another slave's cock. (I say slave because in my ideal scenario, the "toy" will also be forced to submit to this - will be bound and blindfolded during the scene. Once he comes, he will be ordered out so I can finish up with Zack) Just writing that now is mind boggling. 10 months ago, when we discovered this drive within ourselves and for each other, Zack asked me if one day I wanted to put on a strap-on and fuck his ass. Nothing was further from my mind. As a matter of fact, I was positive that this was something I would never want to do. Like they say - never say never. As our relationship evolves, as we learn more and understand each other better, as we learn to trust more fully we both seem to have the capacity to go deeper into the kink.

Our "kink" may never be what is depicted in the XXX rated sites, in the books, in the movies, in the clubs, but it will be ours. It will work for us. It will work for us because we will always be open and honest with each other, we will always discuss each step as it comes up. Whatever we do, we both will understand that we each have agreed on the role of the other. Just like in vanilla relationships, different things work for different people. We will simply be Sarah and Zack - deeply in love and totally committed to each other as Mistress and slave.

Mistress's power

I just stopped emailing Mistress because I have an important job to do...but I'm becoming so addicted and enthralled with her that I just can't pull myself away.

I'm doing this final blog post of the night because I am completely enraptured. She loves control. She's really gotten to me now in ways that she doesn't probably recognize.

I'm smitten. I'm in love. I'm in awe. I'm utterly devoted to Mistress Sarah.

Zack
xoxox

Missing Mistress

I've been thinking a lot about Sarah today.

As she becomes more Dominant, I find that I'm desiring her control even more intensely.

Her last time with me was about as perfect as it could get.

She fucked me intensely and I loved pleasing her by saying I will follow her instructions if she demands me to suck cock for HER.

I love Mistress Sarah, more than ever.

Zack

The real Sarah

Today, Sarah informed me that she needs Domination more than I need submission. That made me smile.

She also revealed in the post below that it sent her over the moon when I told her that I would suck a man's cock on her orders. I've sensed for a while that she wants to force me to do this. It's something that would give her the feeling of control

When I saw the photo below, at first, I was confused and a bit stunned. But now, when I see the way it's arranged with the woman forcing the slave, it makes my cock hard. I think of Sarah doing this. It makes me happy that Sarah doesn't judge me for this feeling.

Sarah is an incredible Mistress. I love making her orgasm in whatever way she likes.

Zack

Zack Truly is a Slut...

Last weekend, Zack and I met for coffee. ok, ok, so the coffee was a ploy. I got him into the fuckmobile, drove to a deserted parking lot, ordered him into the back seat and and forced him to eat my pussy, to please me. It is amusing to say that I forced him to do this, because that slut dies for this, begs to do this, pretending he is being "forced". All I can say is that he is a very lucky slave that I love this as much as he does. The problem is, it's easy to be obedient when you are required to do something you love to do. That does not prove servitude, or demonstrate submission or obedience really. But I'll get back to this thought in a bit.

We had been making plans to spend the afternoon together yesterday. The apartment was a mess with dishes needing to be put away, sweeping and vacuuming to be done, bed to be changed, and laundry was piling up. I told Zack this and he immediately said he would do it, he WANTED to do it. I asked him if he was sure, and he was adamant that he would get it done before Friday. Ok, I trust him to follow through when he says he will do something.

Long story short:
 I got to the apartment on Friday morning and nothing had been done. I knew why then just as much as I had known on Sunday that it wouldn't be done. Zack had done what he often does - makes all kinds of promises (in order to please) that he may not be able to follow through on. I decided then and there that he was going to have to learn a lesson from this.

When he arrived at the apartment, I immediately ordered him to take off his coat and get on his knees and elbows. I wanted his face on the floor. He looked at me quizzically "don't take off my clothes?" (I had set up a protocol that when he came into the apt he was to strip naked and then get on his knees before me. I wanted him to understand that this was different, that "something" was about to happen.) I told him no, and he was not to speak until I said he could. When he was in position,  I began. Now, I COULD have punished him physically. I could have gotten him naked and used my crop on his ass all afternoon as punishment. But there were 2 things at play - Zack did not need punishment because he had not done this intentionally, and he would not learn anything from it if all of his focus was on the pain, not on the error or the intended correction. I needed him to be solely focused on my voice, my words. He needed to feel the discipline on an emotional and psychological level if he was going to learn anything.

I said " I have been wondering if you got to be sooo successful at your job by saying you would complete certain tasks and then not do them. Somehow I doubt it. So, then I wonder how you expect to be a successful slave if you tell Me you will complete certain tasks and then don't." He began trying to explain, giving me excuses of a stressful week, busy at work etc etc. I told him I was NOT interested in his excuses - I knew exactly why the chores had not been done. It took him sometime to actually grasp what I was trying to teach him. (Men just aren't very smart sometimes)  I made him stay in that position and listen to Me as *I* explained this to him. I think he got it, I know he cried. I made him stay there and listen to me as I finished the  cleaning. And I hadn't gotten the laundry done because I couldn't make the machines work. As a result, I was still feeling bitchy. I let him stand and he asked if he could do the laundry - when I said yes, his fucking face lit up like a Christmas tree! I rolled my eyes, he's such a boy; we have a long way to go...

The lesson he needed (and still needs to) learn is to realise his own limitations. He wants to please - me, his boss, his wife, the rest of the world - and in doing so he will promise everything. But he is only human, a mere mortal and as such, has limitations. He needs to understand that much of the stress he experiences in his life is SELF INFLICTED because he can not say "no" to any one. What happens is he sets people up to be disappointed in him, which of course feeds his own feelings of deprecation and therefore affirming for himself that he isn't worthy of anything. It's a vicious cycle and will ultimately destroy him. I will do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening. I love him, I care deeply for his well being. I'm not convinced anyone else does, because Zack won't let them.

So, Zack, if you are reading this, we have a journey ahead of us. I am hoping that what you learn with me you will be able to apply to other aspects of your life as well. Because you ARE worthy, you ARE a valuable participant to your community, your family, your workplace -- and especially to me. The world, and my world, would be a much lesser place without you in it.

Zack got to do the laundry - which made him deliciously happy. Although, he did argue with me about how to fold sheets - another lesson for another day -you do NOT argue with your Mistress.

 Now, back to obedience.
Like I said - it is easy to say you are obedient, submisive and subservient when you are completing tasks you like to do. That is not to say that a sub shouldn't be assigned tasks they enjoy, but simply that these do not necessarily demonstrate submission. Now, when a slave submits to something they don't particularily want to do, wouldn't do on their own or seek that activity out, but does it solely because they wish to please their Mistress, well, that to me is a pretty accurate demonstration of subservience. Certainly, I could restrain Zack, cover his body with hot wax, use the crop on his ass till it shone bright red, but these aren't things that I choose to do, and when I do, it is rare and is usually when someone or something has displeased me, used to expend some pent up energy.

But something I have had in my mind for many years - even before coming to the discovery of finding myself to be Dominant - pops up once in a while. I told Zack about this fantasy when we began on this journey. In the past, there were many instances when I fantasized about making my husband suck some man's cock, I had even fantasized forcing another man to fuck his ass. I see now that these fantasies were about control and being in control (something I never had with my husband). In those days, I used those fantasies to bring on orgasms - I needed them, because he never could satisfy me sexually. But, I left those fantasies behind a long time ago - they only came up when Zack asked me about fantasies I had ever had. I'll let Zack explain his response to them. At the time, this was NEVER anything I entertaained for Zack. It was my belief that my fantasy of forcing my husband in this way was about "getting even", humiliating him the way he often humiliated me. Recently, this fantasy came up again in conversation between Zack and I. And I began to understand it. Zack is very good for me.

While I was fucking him yesterday, he kept saying that if I wanted him to, he would suck another man's cock for me. I can't describe the jolt that gave me. The orgasm that followed was explosive. Then I came up with an even more extreme form of control.. if I were fucking his ass, while he was sucking that cock - and we all came together - that would be the maximum in control for me. I said that to him and he said yes, he would do that for me, as long as I was controlling the session... God, I do love this man of mine!!!

Oh, we have a long ways to go before we get to that kind of a scenario.. but it may happen. We have a long road ahead of us, lots of trials, tribulations but tons of excitement as well. And we will be on that road together.