Saturday, 10 August 2013
Saturday, 3 August 2013
Recovery...
Yesterday was such an amazing day - I am not even sure where to start.
Zack arrived about 30 minutes ahead of Marty. He had a job to do, and he executed it very well. It was all I could do not to just let go and orgasm all over his face. I was more than ready to experience that big black cock when it arrived.
Marty let me know when he was in the lobby. I got zack hooded and kneeling in the corner where I thought he would have the best view. Remember, at this point I was still very concerned about how he was going to react - it's one thing to have an erotic fantasy in your head but it is quite another to experience it. So in his corner he was to stay.
Marty arrived - MAN!! this guy is super fantastic. He is good looking, intelligent, funny, open minded and a great kisser. If I had to fault him on anything it would be that he isn't as tall as I prefer. Oh, he is taller than I am, but I really like men over 6'. But you know what? Height doesn't fucking matter when you are horizontal. and I was dying to see if his body was a match with his picture. He stood there grinning as I began to undress him. When I got his shirt off I was privileged to have the most magnificent chocolate body i have every laid hands to standing in front of me. ME! And he was here for me to use as I chose. Where of where to begin?
I got his pants off next. Then off came his boxer shorts and out sprang a very large, very thick erect cock.
Zack arrived about 30 minutes ahead of Marty. He had a job to do, and he executed it very well. It was all I could do not to just let go and orgasm all over his face. I was more than ready to experience that big black cock when it arrived.
Marty let me know when he was in the lobby. I got zack hooded and kneeling in the corner where I thought he would have the best view. Remember, at this point I was still very concerned about how he was going to react - it's one thing to have an erotic fantasy in your head but it is quite another to experience it. So in his corner he was to stay.
Marty arrived - MAN!! this guy is super fantastic. He is good looking, intelligent, funny, open minded and a great kisser. If I had to fault him on anything it would be that he isn't as tall as I prefer. Oh, he is taller than I am, but I really like men over 6'. But you know what? Height doesn't fucking matter when you are horizontal. and I was dying to see if his body was a match with his picture. He stood there grinning as I began to undress him. When I got his shirt off I was privileged to have the most magnificent chocolate body i have every laid hands to standing in front of me. ME! And he was here for me to use as I chose. Where of where to begin?
I got his pants off next. Then off came his boxer shorts and out sprang a very large, very thick erect cock.
We agreed to safe sex (always!) so I had him put on a condom immediately - because i wanted that cock NOW. I slid down his body and took that cock into my mouth and I worked it. I knew he liked what I was doing because he was groaning and moaning and pumping. I could see zack - I wish I could have seen his face! I sucked on that cock for a while, but I knew I wanted it inside me. I stood up and pushed him down on the bed. I straddled him and pinned his hands. I told him i wanted that cock in me and i wanted it now. He grinned at me impishly and said "Do you think you are woman enough?" I'll show him how much of a woman I am.
I will admit, however, that it was a bit of a challenge. The picture is deceiving - his cock is huge! Even I wondered if I was going to be able to accommodate it. However, I was very wet and before long I had slid the entire length of into me. He filled me up, that was for sure. But I have to admit that the whole time I was fucking this toy, zack was on my mind. I was not totally into Marty as a result. Regardless, I did orgasm - just not the mind blowing orgasm I always experience with zack. I then let him cum, after asking him if he were man enough. He grinned and said "I'll show you whose man enough". When he was done I asked him to leave. I really needed to check on zack. When I looked over at him, he was curled up in a ball on the floor. That scared me - a lot.
He was ok - just cold because he was right next to the air conditioner. After Marty left, I had zack get into bed with me so we could talk about what had just happened. You've read what he wrote - he enjoyed himself and enjoyed watching me fuck this black man. I was very relieved. I love him very much and I will not do anything that will hurt him in anyway. Not Now, Not ever. No matter what I might want.
As you know (from zack's post) I fucked him then. My God! Did I fuck him. I orgasmed - I think the most powerful orgasm I have ever experienced. I know it was because now I was relaxed and now i was feeling the whole experience as it should be felt - in all of its erotica. Zack blew my mind.
We talked a little more, then zack had to leave. I had the day off, and suddenly I was starving - I ordered the biggest breakfast I had ever ordered and ate the entire thing. And then I had a nap.
What an absolutely fantastic day this was. I can't wait to do it again.
.
Friday, 2 August 2013
incredible
Today, it happened...a mind-blowing experience.
Mistress took a black lover in front of me as I slavishly sat silently in the corner of the room.
I never saw his cock...she told me later it was huge.
Just thinking about what happened sends a sexual charge through me.
He was gracious and caring and considerate. And Mistress was able to enjoy him immensely, and followed that up by fucking me.
It was an incredible privilege. Mistress handled this situation so well. I'm a lucky slave.
slave zack
Mistress took a black lover in front of me as I slavishly sat silently in the corner of the room.
I never saw his cock...she told me later it was huge.
Just thinking about what happened sends a sexual charge through me.
He was gracious and caring and considerate. And Mistress was able to enjoy him immensely, and followed that up by fucking me.
It was an incredible privilege. Mistress handled this situation so well. I'm a lucky slave.
slave zack
Thursday, 1 August 2013
A New Toy...
I met Marty today at a local tea lounge. He is a very intelligent, refined, attractive, respectful black man who loves sex almost as much as I do. He is funny, very well built and well endowed (I explored that later). I had made the arrangements and let Zack know the place and time. Understand that I was still uncertain about Zack's responses to all of this so it was essential he be eased into it. We agreed that he would be at the at the meeting, but unknown to Marty. I arrived ahead of Marty (he got tied up at work) and zack was already there, sitting at a table working away on his computer. I got a drink and sat near the back of the shop where zack could watch our interactions..
Marty arrived, introduced himself and went to get a drink. I could see that he was checking me out while he stood in line. I was checking him out as well. We sat there talking for about 45 min - openly about ourselves and about what we were going to engage in. Now, in advance of this I set up a signal for zack: if, when we were leaving, I hugged Marty, it meant he was leaving but would come to our hotel room in the morning to play. If that happened, zack was to immediately come to the hotel room. If I took Marty's arm, it meant he I was taking him to the hotel room right then and zack was to come to the hotel lobby and wait for him to leave. If we went out and simply went in separate directions, it meant that we had agreed this was not going to happen between us and zack was to come to the hotel room then.
When we got up to leave, I took his arm as we walked past zack and I will let zack tell you how that felt to him.
I brought Marty to the hotel. We laid on the bed and talked for a while. He is interested in progressing to complete sexualk domination by me. He asked me if I would spank him - I told him only if he wanted me to. I get the feeling he wants me to. We kissed, we made out for awhile. He told me how incredibly sexy I was and he was very much looking forward to this experience with us. I didn't fuck him then because zack and I went into this together and I want to assure zack that he is not being replaced. To do that I do not want him to be left out - I want him present the first time I use this black man as my toy.
Tomorrow morning, zack is to arrive first. His job is to get me "ready" to fuck this black toy. His job will be to get me aroused. He will then put his hood on, and will be on his knees in the corner when Marty arrives. He is not to speak, he is not to interfere (unless I order him to), he is not to move. For all intents and purposes, he does not exist. Marty will be ordered to ignore that pathetic thing in the corner, he is just a worthless object taking up space for the time being.
I am a bit nervous about tomorrow. I am worried about zack and how this will make him feel. It is very important that he be here when Marty arrives, and is here when Marty leaves. I need to make sure he is ok before I send him on his way.
We will keep you posted.
Marty arrived, introduced himself and went to get a drink. I could see that he was checking me out while he stood in line. I was checking him out as well. We sat there talking for about 45 min - openly about ourselves and about what we were going to engage in. Now, in advance of this I set up a signal for zack: if, when we were leaving, I hugged Marty, it meant he was leaving but would come to our hotel room in the morning to play. If that happened, zack was to immediately come to the hotel room. If I took Marty's arm, it meant he I was taking him to the hotel room right then and zack was to come to the hotel lobby and wait for him to leave. If we went out and simply went in separate directions, it meant that we had agreed this was not going to happen between us and zack was to come to the hotel room then.
When we got up to leave, I took his arm as we walked past zack and I will let zack tell you how that felt to him.
I brought Marty to the hotel. We laid on the bed and talked for a while. He is interested in progressing to complete sexualk domination by me. He asked me if I would spank him - I told him only if he wanted me to. I get the feeling he wants me to. We kissed, we made out for awhile. He told me how incredibly sexy I was and he was very much looking forward to this experience with us. I didn't fuck him then because zack and I went into this together and I want to assure zack that he is not being replaced. To do that I do not want him to be left out - I want him present the first time I use this black man as my toy.
Tomorrow morning, zack is to arrive first. His job is to get me "ready" to fuck this black toy. His job will be to get me aroused. He will then put his hood on, and will be on his knees in the corner when Marty arrives. He is not to speak, he is not to interfere (unless I order him to), he is not to move. For all intents and purposes, he does not exist. Marty will be ordered to ignore that pathetic thing in the corner, he is just a worthless object taking up space for the time being.
I am a bit nervous about tomorrow. I am worried about zack and how this will make him feel. It is very important that he be here when Marty arrives, and is here when Marty leaves. I need to make sure he is ok before I send him on his way.
We will keep you posted.
Tuesday, 30 July 2013
OK, here I am..
I haven't posted here in a long time, and I was reluctant to do so now, but I wanted our readers to understand where our relationship is currently.
Our relationship has changed - it had to. I am exploring alternatives without any guilt.. Zack is simply not available to meet my demands when I need them met. We have not spent any length of time together for over 2 months (since I let the apartment go) - and that has been extremely hard.
I cannot sit around waiting, he can not handle the stress my "expectations" put on him. So, I have made a connection with a young man I have known for some time and with whom I have engaged in a mutual "flirtatious" game during that time. I am now prepared to take it to the next level with him - I believe he is submissive, but may not be fully aware - I will break him in gently.
But I need sex, I need to feel a big cock inside me again. Once a month is just not enough. I also need to take my relationship with Zack to the next level. he may never have sex again - he may simply become my servant - preparing things for my dates, sitting quietly by while I fuck and suck someone else, ever ready to do my bidding - if I order him to suck cock, he will be expected to.. as a matter of fact, the idea of having him on his hands and knees, with his head held firmly between my thighs while my toy fucks his mouth is extremely appealing.. and hopefully it's a big black one - I want to see him gag on it, knowing that he has no choice in the matter.
So, it's one day at a time. But don't think my feelings for him have changed - Zack is still the love of my life. I need him in my life some how, some way - right now, this seems the best way..
Our relationship has changed - it had to. I am exploring alternatives without any guilt.. Zack is simply not available to meet my demands when I need them met. We have not spent any length of time together for over 2 months (since I let the apartment go) - and that has been extremely hard.
I cannot sit around waiting, he can not handle the stress my "expectations" put on him. So, I have made a connection with a young man I have known for some time and with whom I have engaged in a mutual "flirtatious" game during that time. I am now prepared to take it to the next level with him - I believe he is submissive, but may not be fully aware - I will break him in gently.
But I need sex, I need to feel a big cock inside me again. Once a month is just not enough. I also need to take my relationship with Zack to the next level. he may never have sex again - he may simply become my servant - preparing things for my dates, sitting quietly by while I fuck and suck someone else, ever ready to do my bidding - if I order him to suck cock, he will be expected to.. as a matter of fact, the idea of having him on his hands and knees, with his head held firmly between my thighs while my toy fucks his mouth is extremely appealing.. and hopefully it's a big black one - I want to see him gag on it, knowing that he has no choice in the matter.
So, it's one day at a time. But don't think my feelings for him have changed - Zack is still the love of my life. I need him in my life some how, some way - right now, this seems the best way..
thinking of Mistress
Mistress is upping the ante. She may be on the verge of training a second slave.
Plus, she could be fucking more black cock by the end of this week, possibly in my presence.
I'm a very lucky whoreboy.
slave zack
Plus, she could be fucking more black cock by the end of this week, possibly in my presence.
I'm a very lucky whoreboy.
slave zack
Sunday, 30 June 2013
I'm really missing Mistress
On Mistress's instructions, I posted an ad a week ago seeking a black lover for her. We received numerous replies, which I dutifully forwarded to Mistress Sarah.
Today, a late arrival came. This applicant may have been a bit too young for Mistress's desires. But when I saw a photo of his big black cock, it gave me a jolt thinking about what Mistress might do with him.
Mistress has not commented on this email. Nor has she given me any indication which, if any, of the applicants she may have decided to contact. I don't know if she has gone on any dates or if she's contemplating this.
None of this is my business, ultimately. She knows I'll remain devoted no matter what she does because my submission is unconditional.
Tomorrow, she might whisper in my ear about her recent out-of-town trip, where she ended up playing with the big black cock you see in the earlier post.
I'm looking forward to that.
slave zack
Today, a late arrival came. This applicant may have been a bit too young for Mistress's desires. But when I saw a photo of his big black cock, it gave me a jolt thinking about what Mistress might do with him.
Mistress has not commented on this email. Nor has she given me any indication which, if any, of the applicants she may have decided to contact. I don't know if she has gone on any dates or if she's contemplating this.
None of this is my business, ultimately. She knows I'll remain devoted no matter what she does because my submission is unconditional.
Tomorrow, she might whisper in my ear about her recent out-of-town trip, where she ended up playing with the big black cock you see in the earlier post.
I'm looking forward to that.
slave zack
Sunday, 23 June 2013
Mistress Sarah's chocolate desire
I've been getting very horny about Mistress Sarah's desire for chocolate, which seems to almost be consuming her these days.
I used to feel proud that Mistress loved my cock. But she has learned there are cocks much bigger than her slave's.
I'm happy Mistress is finding more pleasure in life.
On a certain level, I just hope and hope and hope that I never become redundant.
I need Mistress.
slave zack
I used to feel proud that Mistress loved my cock. But she has learned there are cocks much bigger than her slave's.
I'm happy Mistress is finding more pleasure in life.
On a certain level, I just hope and hope and hope that I never become redundant.
I need Mistress.
slave zack
Saturday, 22 June 2013
What a Fucking Whore......
...zack is. he is so attentive right now and he wants to know everything that went on between Devon and I.
I have decided i love black men with big black cocks - i need to find one locally that wants to play.
because i want to play - and the bigger the cock, the better.
I have decided i love black men with big black cocks - i need to find one locally that wants to play.
because i want to play - and the bigger the cock, the better.
Thursday, 20 June 2013
What I want to know
Mistress Sarah dropped by for a visit this afternoon.
I needed to see her after her out-of-town trip.
I was so turned on because she looked absolutely ravishing.
She opened the rear door of her car and had me sit inside.
I wanted to hear details about what she did with the man who's picture is two images below.
I wanted to know if she sucked his cock.
I wanted to know how much of it she could take in her mouth.
I wanted to know if she made him cum with her talented mouth.
I wanted to know how many times she made that big black cock cum.
I wanted to know how many orgasms she had with her new friend.
I wanted to know what she told him about me.
I wanted to know if she's planning on inviting him to our town.
But she took pity on me and didn't tell me these things...because she didn't want me to cum when she fucked me.
I was a good slave. She fucked me and had a powerful orgasm. And I kept control.
Mainly because she didn't tell me all the things I wanted to know.
If she had told me everything, I doubt I would have been as successful.
I want to be a fantastic slave for Sarah.
That's because I love Sarah.
slave zack
I needed to see her after her out-of-town trip.
I was so turned on because she looked absolutely ravishing.
She opened the rear door of her car and had me sit inside.
I wanted to hear details about what she did with the man who's picture is two images below.
I wanted to know if she sucked his cock.
I wanted to know how much of it she could take in her mouth.
I wanted to know if she made him cum with her talented mouth.
I wanted to know how many times she made that big black cock cum.
I wanted to know how many orgasms she had with her new friend.
I wanted to know what she told him about me.
I wanted to know if she's planning on inviting him to our town.
But she took pity on me and didn't tell me these things...because she didn't want me to cum when she fucked me.
I was a good slave. She fucked me and had a powerful orgasm. And I kept control.
Mainly because she didn't tell me all the things I wanted to know.
If she had told me everything, I doubt I would have been as successful.
I want to be a fantastic slave for Sarah.
That's because I love Sarah.
slave zack
Monday, 17 June 2013
Sunday, 16 June 2013
Zack's message
Mistress Sarah has stopped posting, but that doesn't prevent me, her slave, from posting. She is off to an out-of-town conference.
This morning before she left, she informed me that she may try to find a black man to fuck while she's away.
As you can imagine, this aroused me incredibly. Regular readers of this blog know that Mistress Sarah has an attraction for black men.
One day, she plans to force me to watch her suck on a big black cock, fuck a big black cock, and have me observe her and her lover having orgasms this way.
As her slut, I'm very eager to experience this.
For now, however, I'm hoping that if she finds what she's seeking at the conference that she'll share the details with me.
It's indescribably erotic thinking of Mistress orgasming in this way...and having a black man cum inside her.
One day when she does this, I hope I'm present so she can immediately fuck my face afterward.
slave zack
This morning before she left, she informed me that she may try to find a black man to fuck while she's away.
As you can imagine, this aroused me incredibly. Regular readers of this blog know that Mistress Sarah has an attraction for black men.
One day, she plans to force me to watch her suck on a big black cock, fuck a big black cock, and have me observe her and her lover having orgasms this way.
As her slut, I'm very eager to experience this.
For now, however, I'm hoping that if she finds what she's seeking at the conference that she'll share the details with me.
It's indescribably erotic thinking of Mistress orgasming in this way...and having a black man cum inside her.
One day when she does this, I hope I'm present so she can immediately fuck my face afterward.
slave zack
Monday, 3 June 2013
It's Time to Come Clean..
So, Gavin got back from his business trip. Seems he had been "doing some thinking" and thinks he needs to get his life straightened out before he takes on a new relationship. So, before it even got started, it's over. Go figure.
I told Zack that my biggest fear about leaving the apartment was that he wouldn't find any time for me. He says he will always find time somehow for us. Big talk. Except for the hour last week, we have barely connected in the past month. I think this is another relationship that is over. His wife is becoming more demanding of his time -despite his assurances that she is getting better and therefore would require less of his time. His work is one crisis after another, despite his assurances that "next week" will be better.
Zack lives in this fantasy world where everything he wants will happen, every wish he has will come true. And I live in a fantasy world where he is right, where his wife and my husband cease to exist and we will be together, where we will have the 24/7 relationship we so keenly desire.
But, I just woke up from a number of dreams (admittedly, in one I was fucking Usher all night, but that isn't what this is about) and I realize that it is not only time to accept reality, it is time to come clean with the readers of this blog. It is time for Zack to wake up and tell me what is real - there is no room for me in his life - anywhere, anytime. No matter what his wishes are, no matter what he wants, no matter who he truly is - there is no place for me. And no matter what my wishes are, no matter what I want, no matter who I truly am, I need to also wake up and hear what is real - there is NO place for me in his life.
And here is where I come clean. You know how Zack and I met, you know our situation, you know what the past 4 years have been. You have been here through the deterioration. You have seen this coming long before I have. Well actually - that isn't really true. I have seen it coming, I have just chosen not to believe it, not to accept it. Zack is the love of my life. He always will be. I will never deny him any request, whatever he asks of me, he will get. But there will never be a BBC in my life. There will never be another toy, another slave, or another love. I am tired. And I am done.
You see, what you don't know is that it is true that I live in a marriage where there is no passion, no sex, no romance, not even any companionship. It's what happens after spending 43 years with the same person. And while it is true that I am 10 years older than Zack what you don't know is that Zack will be 53 years old in Aug. That means, yes, I will be 63 years old in Sept. 63.I am simply a stupid old woman who actually should have known better. But for the past 4 years, I lived in a fantasy where I finally had my very own Prince Charming who had come to rescue me. For the past 4 years, I have successfully fooled myself in to believing I had finally found what I had sought my entire life. Oh, Zack has truly been my Prince, I love him more than life. He showed me what is possible, he showed me what passion felt like. He always did say he could never give me what I wanted. He was only half right - I wanted to feel love and passion and he gave me that, he gave me even more than I had ever dreamed for.
But I want him. I want to grow even older with him. I want him in my bed with me when I am 70, 80, 90 yrs old. I want HIM beside when when I die. Just him. Only him. I believe Zack wants that too. But the reality is that just wanting this does not, can not, will not make it happen. And the very character traits that I love so much about Zack will prevent it from ever happening. Despite our affair, he is an honorable man and he will never deny his wife or his job the time and devotion he believes they are entitled to. They are his obligations, his life, his reality. and they always will be. I finally admit that. I finally believe that. I wonder if Zack has come to that realization as well?
I am so tired. I am tired of trying to have what I clearly will not. I am trapped in a loveless marriage and I am doomed to end my life there. This is my reality. And, since the fantasy is over, dear readers, so is this blog. This will be my very last post.
And at the end of it all - I love you, Zack. I will always love you.
Sarah
.
I told Zack that my biggest fear about leaving the apartment was that he wouldn't find any time for me. He says he will always find time somehow for us. Big talk. Except for the hour last week, we have barely connected in the past month. I think this is another relationship that is over. His wife is becoming more demanding of his time -despite his assurances that she is getting better and therefore would require less of his time. His work is one crisis after another, despite his assurances that "next week" will be better.
Zack lives in this fantasy world where everything he wants will happen, every wish he has will come true. And I live in a fantasy world where he is right, where his wife and my husband cease to exist and we will be together, where we will have the 24/7 relationship we so keenly desire.
But, I just woke up from a number of dreams (admittedly, in one I was fucking Usher all night, but that isn't what this is about) and I realize that it is not only time to accept reality, it is time to come clean with the readers of this blog. It is time for Zack to wake up and tell me what is real - there is no room for me in his life - anywhere, anytime. No matter what his wishes are, no matter what he wants, no matter who he truly is - there is no place for me. And no matter what my wishes are, no matter what I want, no matter who I truly am, I need to also wake up and hear what is real - there is NO place for me in his life.
And here is where I come clean. You know how Zack and I met, you know our situation, you know what the past 4 years have been. You have been here through the deterioration. You have seen this coming long before I have. Well actually - that isn't really true. I have seen it coming, I have just chosen not to believe it, not to accept it. Zack is the love of my life. He always will be. I will never deny him any request, whatever he asks of me, he will get. But there will never be a BBC in my life. There will never be another toy, another slave, or another love. I am tired. And I am done.
You see, what you don't know is that it is true that I live in a marriage where there is no passion, no sex, no romance, not even any companionship. It's what happens after spending 43 years with the same person. And while it is true that I am 10 years older than Zack what you don't know is that Zack will be 53 years old in Aug. That means, yes, I will be 63 years old in Sept. 63.I am simply a stupid old woman who actually should have known better. But for the past 4 years, I lived in a fantasy where I finally had my very own Prince Charming who had come to rescue me. For the past 4 years, I have successfully fooled myself in to believing I had finally found what I had sought my entire life. Oh, Zack has truly been my Prince, I love him more than life. He showed me what is possible, he showed me what passion felt like. He always did say he could never give me what I wanted. He was only half right - I wanted to feel love and passion and he gave me that, he gave me even more than I had ever dreamed for.
But I want him. I want to grow even older with him. I want him in my bed with me when I am 70, 80, 90 yrs old. I want HIM beside when when I die. Just him. Only him. I believe Zack wants that too. But the reality is that just wanting this does not, can not, will not make it happen. And the very character traits that I love so much about Zack will prevent it from ever happening. Despite our affair, he is an honorable man and he will never deny his wife or his job the time and devotion he believes they are entitled to. They are his obligations, his life, his reality. and they always will be. I finally admit that. I finally believe that. I wonder if Zack has come to that realization as well?
I am so tired. I am tired of trying to have what I clearly will not. I am trapped in a loveless marriage and I am doomed to end my life there. This is my reality. And, since the fantasy is over, dear readers, so is this blog. This will be my very last post.
And at the end of it all - I love you, Zack. I will always love you.
Sarah
.
Thursday, 30 May 2013
The End of the Chapter...
Tonight is my last night at the apartment. Pretty much everything is gone, I just have to clean and it's done. It's over. I will leave here tomorrow and there will be no looking back, I guess. I will have no reason to be in the neighborhood again. Zack will have his space; no more pressure from me. No more visits.
For better or worse, this chapter of our life is over.
The next pages are blank, just waiting to be written. I wonder what they are going to say?
As always,
Love, Sarah
For better or worse, this chapter of our life is over.
The next pages are blank, just waiting to be written. I wonder what they are going to say?
As always,
Love, Sarah
Sunday, 26 May 2013
Slaves.. Can't Live With 'em and Can't Live Without "em...
Too fucking complicated, that's what life is! First of all, I had planned to "play" with gavin last Thurs at the apt, I didn't. I just wasn't in the mood. Mistresses don't always have to be in the mood. Besides, I think it was rushing things a bit. There was another reason, though - I didn't want him there. That has been mine and zack's place. I don't want it to be anything but that, so it will be mine and zack's place till the bitter end. Who knew i could be sentimental??
zack came over for a visit on Friday. He was very glad to be there, laying on the bed next to me, holding me, and I was glad he was there as well. I knew he was tired, we both were, so I actually hadn't intended to fuck him, but the urge came upon me in an instant. Suddenly I was very very horny and all I wanted was to feel that big cock deep inside me. I interrupted whatever he was saying (who the fuck cares what he was saying??) and ordered him to get his pants off, which he did promptly. I straddle him and pinned his arms to the bed as I slid down onto him. I was very wet and he slid in oh so easily, even though he felt very large and his cock literally filled me up. I knew this was not going to take long, I needed this in a big way.
Now, I don't know if I have ever mentioned this, but zack has a hard time shutting his mouth. I mean, he never fucking shuts up - pretty much the whole time i am fucking him, it's talk, talk, talk. Sometimes I will tell him to shut up, other times I tell him that if he doesn't shut up I will get a gag to keep him quiet. This time, I let him talk - he gets into a chant of sorts - telling me how perfect I am, how happy he is serving me, how happy it makes him when I decide i want that piece of meat he keeps between his legs. This time he added something else - he said that I was what he had been looking for his whole life, that I was what he had needed his whole life, that when he was fantasizing about the older women he had delivered papers to when he was 13 it was really me he was looking for. I took this one step forward. I whispered in his ear, while I was riding that cock of his, that I would have joyfully fucked him when he was 13 if he had shown up at my door, I would have probably enticed him into my house and kept him tied up while I fucked him day and night.
That was when he came. Suddenly, very unexpectedly, and explosively. Of course, you know what happens when he releases his hot lava into me - I cum as well. But it wasn't the same this time, it wasn't as fulfilling this time because it was unexpected. It was over before it began. No riding the orgasm wave for me.I looked into zack's eyes for what seemed like an eternity. There was clearly a look of shock and foreboding in those eyes. He was very upset, I could tell. He said he was sorry, and followed that with "it has just been such a long time..."
And then his phone rang. It was his wife and he had to leave immediately - as a result, there was no time to discuss what had happened. But for some reason, I wasn't quite as upset as I should have been. I did, however, send him an email telling him that this was exactly something my husband would say - as if it were my fault it had been "so long". All I can say is he better have a little bit of fear about what is to come.
I told gavin about zack's fuck up. he laughed; he was very glad to hear it - although he was upset for me, he was glad that zack wasn't mr. perfect. gavin plans on being far better at satisfying me. I guess time will tell. gavin has gone out of town on business for the week, so I am hoping that next week I get to visit him at his apartment, see his toys, maybe do some hot wax (he hasn't had that done to him) and generally inflict some well deserved pain. Maybe I will punish him for zack's fuck up. And I suspect it is going to be "a long time" before zack's gets to redeem himself with me. I'm going to be busy breaking in a new toy.
As always,
Love, Mistress Sarah..
zack came over for a visit on Friday. He was very glad to be there, laying on the bed next to me, holding me, and I was glad he was there as well. I knew he was tired, we both were, so I actually hadn't intended to fuck him, but the urge came upon me in an instant. Suddenly I was very very horny and all I wanted was to feel that big cock deep inside me. I interrupted whatever he was saying (who the fuck cares what he was saying??) and ordered him to get his pants off, which he did promptly. I straddle him and pinned his arms to the bed as I slid down onto him. I was very wet and he slid in oh so easily, even though he felt very large and his cock literally filled me up. I knew this was not going to take long, I needed this in a big way.
Now, I don't know if I have ever mentioned this, but zack has a hard time shutting his mouth. I mean, he never fucking shuts up - pretty much the whole time i am fucking him, it's talk, talk, talk. Sometimes I will tell him to shut up, other times I tell him that if he doesn't shut up I will get a gag to keep him quiet. This time, I let him talk - he gets into a chant of sorts - telling me how perfect I am, how happy he is serving me, how happy it makes him when I decide i want that piece of meat he keeps between his legs. This time he added something else - he said that I was what he had been looking for his whole life, that I was what he had needed his whole life, that when he was fantasizing about the older women he had delivered papers to when he was 13 it was really me he was looking for. I took this one step forward. I whispered in his ear, while I was riding that cock of his, that I would have joyfully fucked him when he was 13 if he had shown up at my door, I would have probably enticed him into my house and kept him tied up while I fucked him day and night.
That was when he came. Suddenly, very unexpectedly, and explosively. Of course, you know what happens when he releases his hot lava into me - I cum as well. But it wasn't the same this time, it wasn't as fulfilling this time because it was unexpected. It was over before it began. No riding the orgasm wave for me.I looked into zack's eyes for what seemed like an eternity. There was clearly a look of shock and foreboding in those eyes. He was very upset, I could tell. He said he was sorry, and followed that with "it has just been such a long time..."
And then his phone rang. It was his wife and he had to leave immediately - as a result, there was no time to discuss what had happened. But for some reason, I wasn't quite as upset as I should have been. I did, however, send him an email telling him that this was exactly something my husband would say - as if it were my fault it had been "so long". All I can say is he better have a little bit of fear about what is to come.
I told gavin about zack's fuck up. he laughed; he was very glad to hear it - although he was upset for me, he was glad that zack wasn't mr. perfect. gavin plans on being far better at satisfying me. I guess time will tell. gavin has gone out of town on business for the week, so I am hoping that next week I get to visit him at his apartment, see his toys, maybe do some hot wax (he hasn't had that done to him) and generally inflict some well deserved pain. Maybe I will punish him for zack's fuck up. And I suspect it is going to be "a long time" before zack's gets to redeem himself with me. I'm going to be busy breaking in a new toy.
As always,
Love, Mistress Sarah..
Wednesday, 22 May 2013
Emotional Roller Coasters...
I have been on one, that is for sure. Today was not the best of days - I was at the apartment all day. Since I have the furniture advertised, I had people coming by to buy and pick up. I was actually doing ok, until I agreed to sell the bedroom furniture to the new tenant. I came a little unhinged then and when she left I broke down and cried.
I made this decision to give up the apartment. I have to live with it. I am not going to belabor the reasons or try to rationalize something that doesn't need it. I've listed all my wonderful reasons for making this decision here. At the end of the day, I think it IS the right thing to do - for both of us. But I do love that place, I love that bed, and I love all the times I have spent there with zack. I will grieve this, and that is expected.
I spoke to zack just before I was leaving this evening. he asked how I was doing and I started to cry. I tried not to - but I couldn't help it. He is such a man - and we know how men are when a woman cries. That's the time they run in the opposite direction - the time when you actually need them the most. zack is taking responsibility for my sadness. he feels that it is his fault I am doing this and I am unhappy now as a result. I wish he wouldn't do that. I could have chosen not to give it up. The responsibility is mine. I have 1 more week there. I will spend my last night there next Wed. And the sun will shine again.
We will get through this, of that I am certain.
As always,
Love, Mistress Sarah
I made this decision to give up the apartment. I have to live with it. I am not going to belabor the reasons or try to rationalize something that doesn't need it. I've listed all my wonderful reasons for making this decision here. At the end of the day, I think it IS the right thing to do - for both of us. But I do love that place, I love that bed, and I love all the times I have spent there with zack. I will grieve this, and that is expected.
I spoke to zack just before I was leaving this evening. he asked how I was doing and I started to cry. I tried not to - but I couldn't help it. He is such a man - and we know how men are when a woman cries. That's the time they run in the opposite direction - the time when you actually need them the most. zack is taking responsibility for my sadness. he feels that it is his fault I am doing this and I am unhappy now as a result. I wish he wouldn't do that. I could have chosen not to give it up. The responsibility is mine. I have 1 more week there. I will spend my last night there next Wed. And the sun will shine again.
We will get through this, of that I am certain.
As always,
Love, Mistress Sarah
Tuesday, 21 May 2013
Sharing the New Development...
zack and I have chatted. At first, he was concerned, reluctant and every other "conventional" emotion one would expect in a vanilla relationship. I knew this was how he would react. All he needed was some time and reassurances.
It didn't take him long to let go of the vanilla responses and become excited about what is to come. He has already been asking questions, offering a variety of scenarios. He's in.
So, what is the news? I was contacted the other night by a former potential slave. I had been considering him 9 months ago. We had met a couple of times, he seemed to want this.. and then he was gone. oh well, shit happens. Now he is back - back and eager to be at my service. He is aware of zack, and although, he has never gone that route, he is more than willing to participate in any activity I come up with - with or without zack. And here is the beauty of this. he is a complete opposite to zack, not just in the things he will do but in physical attributes - where zack is tall, he is short, where zack is dark, he is blonde.Where zack can't take pain, gavin can and will take whatever I dish out - he is eager for it. where zack has not been able to participate in my desire to fuck his ass, gavin wants it, craves it, has already begged for me to fuck him. he wants his limits and boundaries pushed. I am excited - i too will get to expand my boundaries, get to experience new things, new challenges. Yes, indeed, I am very excited.
I want to make it clear here that I accept that these 2 are so different. I do not want them to be the same, I do not need them to be the same. zack will give me things, satisfy needs gavin cannot and gavin will satisfy needs that zack simply cannot. This very lucky Mistress will have the best of both worlds.
gavin and I met at the apartment this afternoon. He actually came prepared to get his ass paddled. he even brought a butt plug to wear during the exercise. This is how eager he is to please. But, I kept him waiting - anticipation is good for the soul. We talked about expectations, rules, concerns and assurances. He is preparing himself to become good at orgasm denial, he has never been denied an orgasm - he has been ordered to masturbate to the brink of orgasm, to stop, and once the urge has diminished, to do it again - 3 times in a row. he has been doing it - he says his balls ache. LOL. I promised him release before he goes on a business trip on Sunday.
So, it looks like I am going to be a little busy - but never too busy to share all the details here.
I will let zack post his own thoughts about this situation. Dare I say this is going to be an interesting week?
as always,
Love, Mistress Sarah
PS i just got a message from gavin asking permission to lick zack's balls while I am fucking him... shows you what an eager beaver he is!!!
It didn't take him long to let go of the vanilla responses and become excited about what is to come. He has already been asking questions, offering a variety of scenarios. He's in.
So, what is the news? I was contacted the other night by a former potential slave. I had been considering him 9 months ago. We had met a couple of times, he seemed to want this.. and then he was gone. oh well, shit happens. Now he is back - back and eager to be at my service. He is aware of zack, and although, he has never gone that route, he is more than willing to participate in any activity I come up with - with or without zack. And here is the beauty of this. he is a complete opposite to zack, not just in the things he will do but in physical attributes - where zack is tall, he is short, where zack is dark, he is blonde.Where zack can't take pain, gavin can and will take whatever I dish out - he is eager for it. where zack has not been able to participate in my desire to fuck his ass, gavin wants it, craves it, has already begged for me to fuck him. he wants his limits and boundaries pushed. I am excited - i too will get to expand my boundaries, get to experience new things, new challenges. Yes, indeed, I am very excited.
I want to make it clear here that I accept that these 2 are so different. I do not want them to be the same, I do not need them to be the same. zack will give me things, satisfy needs gavin cannot and gavin will satisfy needs that zack simply cannot. This very lucky Mistress will have the best of both worlds.
gavin and I met at the apartment this afternoon. He actually came prepared to get his ass paddled. he even brought a butt plug to wear during the exercise. This is how eager he is to please. But, I kept him waiting - anticipation is good for the soul. We talked about expectations, rules, concerns and assurances. He is preparing himself to become good at orgasm denial, he has never been denied an orgasm - he has been ordered to masturbate to the brink of orgasm, to stop, and once the urge has diminished, to do it again - 3 times in a row. he has been doing it - he says his balls ache. LOL. I promised him release before he goes on a business trip on Sunday.
So, it looks like I am going to be a little busy - but never too busy to share all the details here.
I will let zack post his own thoughts about this situation. Dare I say this is going to be an interesting week?
as always,
Love, Mistress Sarah
PS i just got a message from gavin asking permission to lick zack's balls while I am fucking him... shows you what an eager beaver he is!!!
Monday, 20 May 2013
Just When You Least Expect It...
Wishes come true out of the most unlikely of circumstances. The sun comes out, and life takes a whole new turn in another direction. Something that both zack and I have talked about, fantasized about, is about to come true. No, it does not involved a black cock, or a woman, but it is something that has me very excited!
I have to share with zack before I can post it here - but suffice it to say, at the end of the day zack will be a much better slave, he will be happier and most of all - I will be a better Mistress and much happier as well.
This is going to get exciting, I promise, so please stay tuned!! zack's boundaries are definitely about to expand!
As always,
Love, Mistress Sarah
PS - I have told zack the news. Until I am certain how he truly feels about it, I will have to wait before sharing it here. He says he is fine with what i want to do, and yet, the excitement he expressed about my penchant for dark chocolate was not there, so I am not sure. What I know about zack is that regardless of his apparent self centeredness, he really does want me to have everything that will bring me pleasure. Because of this, he will agree to anything I say - regardless of how he may truly feel about it. I have written this to him:
"It is essential that I know what you are thinking about this – ambivalent, tolerant, excited, whatever. I know you. I know how you respond to things – and your past responses make it difficult for me to make decisions now. I KNOW you want me happy. I KNOW you want to make sure my needs are met, I KNOW you want me to fulfill my need to Dominate. I also KNOW that you don’t feel you are able or capable of providing any of that for me – at least not as wholly as you would like. So, I also KNOW that you will agree to anything I want if you think it will please me. I know that you will do that – even if at the end of the day you are unhappy about it, or feel as if you will lose me as a result, or feel like a failure because you haven’t met all of my needs. You will say all the right words.. and then withdraw into your shell to await what you fear the most – that I will leave you for someone else. Please, please, please believe me when I say I love you, that you are the most important person in the world to me, and your wellbeing is first and foremost in my mind. I can live without this. There is no way in this world this is worth hurting you. Mistresses aren't supposed to give a shit about their slaves, not really. They are supposed to just take what they want and to hell with everyone else. I am sorry if I don’t fit the model, but in every case I care deeply about you. I always will. I know this beyond a shadow of a doubt".
He is very busy this weekend with work and I haven't had a response yet. I will keep you posted!
I have to share with zack before I can post it here - but suffice it to say, at the end of the day zack will be a much better slave, he will be happier and most of all - I will be a better Mistress and much happier as well.
This is going to get exciting, I promise, so please stay tuned!! zack's boundaries are definitely about to expand!
As always,
Love, Mistress Sarah
PS - I have told zack the news. Until I am certain how he truly feels about it, I will have to wait before sharing it here. He says he is fine with what i want to do, and yet, the excitement he expressed about my penchant for dark chocolate was not there, so I am not sure. What I know about zack is that regardless of his apparent self centeredness, he really does want me to have everything that will bring me pleasure. Because of this, he will agree to anything I say - regardless of how he may truly feel about it. I have written this to him:
"It is essential that I know what you are thinking about this – ambivalent, tolerant, excited, whatever. I know you. I know how you respond to things – and your past responses make it difficult for me to make decisions now. I KNOW you want me happy. I KNOW you want to make sure my needs are met, I KNOW you want me to fulfill my need to Dominate. I also KNOW that you don’t feel you are able or capable of providing any of that for me – at least not as wholly as you would like. So, I also KNOW that you will agree to anything I want if you think it will please me. I know that you will do that – even if at the end of the day you are unhappy about it, or feel as if you will lose me as a result, or feel like a failure because you haven’t met all of my needs. You will say all the right words.. and then withdraw into your shell to await what you fear the most – that I will leave you for someone else. Please, please, please believe me when I say I love you, that you are the most important person in the world to me, and your wellbeing is first and foremost in my mind. I can live without this. There is no way in this world this is worth hurting you. Mistresses aren't supposed to give a shit about their slaves, not really. They are supposed to just take what they want and to hell with everyone else. I am sorry if I don’t fit the model, but in every case I care deeply about you. I always will. I know this beyond a shadow of a doubt".
He is very busy this weekend with work and I haven't had a response yet. I will keep you posted!
Sunday, 19 May 2013
My Deep Desire...
My very first sexual encounter was with a black man at the age of 17. I have never forgotten that, even though it wasn't the best experience. I think "black" has been in the back of my mind my entire life and I find myself typically and almost unconsciously checking out every black man I see.
Zack is correct - I want this. But what i learned from Janelle is that I want this with Zack there. I want him to understand that he can be replaced, that he cam even be out-performed. I want to be staring him right in the eye when my gorgeous piece of dark chocolate makes me cum. I want him watching me take that big black cock into my mouth all the way down my throat. I want him to watch while that black cock releases its hot juices. I want him to understand who is in control of the situation. I want him restrained so he can do nothing but watch and listen. And if he dares to close his eyes?? He will figure out very quickly that that does not please me in the slightest.
yes, I am very much looking forward to this opportunity to put zack in his proper place.
As always,
Love Mistress Sarah
Zack is correct - I want this. But what i learned from Janelle is that I want this with Zack there. I want him to understand that he can be replaced, that he cam even be out-performed. I want to be staring him right in the eye when my gorgeous piece of dark chocolate makes me cum. I want him watching me take that big black cock into my mouth all the way down my throat. I want him to watch while that black cock releases its hot juices. I want him to understand who is in control of the situation. I want him restrained so he can do nothing but watch and listen. And if he dares to close his eyes?? He will figure out very quickly that that does not please me in the slightest.
yes, I am very much looking forward to this opportunity to put zack in his proper place.
As always,
Love Mistress Sarah
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