And, if there are any of you wormish-like subs reading, well, I am sure he wouldn't mind hearing from you either. That is the one disappointment about this blog for him - I personally don't give a damn if you comment or not, but he is a very needy boy. he doesn't think he is an exhibitionist, but he is - he likes the thrill of fucking in the car and risking getting caught, he loved Me giving him orders in the coffee shot and he loved Me kissing him in public - just grabbing his hair, pulling him to Me and kissing him. Zack truly is a slut, that is for sure. This blog is in public domain, and it excites him to know others in this world are reading about him. So, again, I invite you to come here and let him know what you think, you can even share with him how you might serve me if you were My slave. Now, let's get to the issue at hand, shall we?
It hasn't been a very good week for Me. Being a person who needs control to survive, any loss is huge. These are the times I need Zack. These are the times I wish I had a 24/7 slave - because managing the other aspects of My life where I am not the one in control would be so much easier. Just as a professional Dom will tell you that their clients are usually high power men who need that opportunity to completely submit for a few hours, that is the way it is for Me. When I am not feeling as much control as I like to have in the rest of my life, I need My slave. Until recently, that was possible - I could call him, order him to get his ass into My car immediately and he would be there. But that isn't the case right now - his work has become very demanding and I am not going to compromise his work by ordering him away from it. I can assure you, and him, that if I had gotten him into a bed yesterday, he would have left with a very sore & red ass, rug burns on his knees, and much much hornier than when he arrived. he may have even lost some of his hair to My fist. That was the state I was in. Ironically, he would have loved it.
We e-mailed for a while this morning and he managed to take the edge off, but the need remains. We have chatted quite a bit today, and I asked him some pretty specific questions. It's was good, and as a result, I am feeling much better, more like I can handle whatever comes at me right now. We'll have to see what tomorrow brings, I guess.
So, this morning, Zack asked if I had ever thought of peeing on him. he;s asked that question before. I have to admit, the idea gives Me a rush, although I am not sure why. Then he asked me to describe how I thought it would feel urinating on him in the shower. I've had to think about that.
I've been considering this alot today. Obviously, it is something he has thought about, and as is My norm, I went to a sub site to see if I could get some insights. Zack can only guess how he will feel, so I wanted to see what the experience was like for other subs the first time. The sites have proven to be quite enlightening with many perspectives, but at the end of it all, this was something that both Mistress and slave get pleasure out of. There are many different reasons why, but they don't matter. The end result matters.
So, now I have considered how it might make Me feel. The idea is not completely strange to Me, but I do wonder if the intended impact is attainable. Regardless, I think this would be something, an act, that would truly make him MY slave. Regardless of anything else in his life, it would be my "mark" that he would carry with him. I can imagine him - laying in the tub. he would be cold, no doubt, and I expect a bit apprehensive. (I won't go into how I get him there, I will leave that to him, because after our next session he will be required to post here; and even though he knows its coming, he won't know when it's coming.) I would be standing over him, towering over him, actually. I would reach down, and grab him by the hair (have I mentioned how much I like dragging him around by the hair??) and make him look into My eyes. then I would ask him "WHO owns you??"
And we know what his answer better be, now don't we?
I think the experience will be a powerful one. Zack likens it to a baptism; I suppose it is. He is being re-born, he is morphing into what he is supposed to be, what he has been all along and denied. he will be whole at last. And Me? I will have attained total control over him, I will truly own him, he will be all mine. After this, he will never be free of me. he will always be My slave. Glorious.
