I am never satisfied.. the more I get the more I want...
I wonder how I am supposed to deal with that??
Thursday 5 January 2012
Wednesday 4 January 2012
An Then Things Can Get Soooo Much Better....
Zack joined me for coffee before work this morning. I had told him where I was going to be, but to be truthful, I didn't give a damn if he showed up or not - I was still in such a bitchy mood, everything, EVERYTHING and EVERYONE was totally pissing me off.
But, he did come. He is sick, yet he still came. It took a little while, but he was successful in taking the edge off and by the time we parted, I was definitely feeling better. I was feeling more in control. He has that effect on me.
Later in that afternoon, I checked into the hotel. He said he was going to come by about 3:30. I got there early, and called him a work and left a message; by 4 PM, I hadn't heard from him. Figures. But a few minutes later he called and asked if he was welcome to come up. Of course he was!
Suffice it to say, the rest of the day went very well as I proceeded to fuck Zack's brains out. I was able to work out my aggression and bitchiness from the morning and the day before. While I was working it out on Zack, we figured out why I was so pissed at what had happened. I wasn't pissed at Zack, I was pissed at having someone else controlling MY slave. Someone was using MY slave without my permission.
As I was on top of Zack, with his cock deep in side of me I told him what I would have done to his boss if I could - I told him I would have gone over to his office, slapped the shit out of his boss, then grab him by the hair and drag his sorry ass out of there, letting his "Ex-boss" know that Zack was MY slave and no one gets him unless I give them permission. I would never let him go back.
At that point, I experienced one killer of an orgasm- it totally caught me off guard, but it was pretty clear it was a direct result of my declaration of ownership of Zack and my Domination. This was a BIG deal.
We spend more time together, but the time came when we both had to leave. I had an appointment to look at an apartment for rent and he had to pick up his wife. The topper of the day. however, was that the apartment was great, and as far as I am concerned, it's MINE. Better yet, it is a block from Zack's work - so now, instead of ordering his ass to the fuckmobile, I'll be ordering his ass to my dungeon..
I am soooo excited!
Yes, Sir - the day ended very well indeed!
But, he did come. He is sick, yet he still came. It took a little while, but he was successful in taking the edge off and by the time we parted, I was definitely feeling better. I was feeling more in control. He has that effect on me.
Later in that afternoon, I checked into the hotel. He said he was going to come by about 3:30. I got there early, and called him a work and left a message; by 4 PM, I hadn't heard from him. Figures. But a few minutes later he called and asked if he was welcome to come up. Of course he was!
Suffice it to say, the rest of the day went very well as I proceeded to fuck Zack's brains out. I was able to work out my aggression and bitchiness from the morning and the day before. While I was working it out on Zack, we figured out why I was so pissed at what had happened. I wasn't pissed at Zack, I was pissed at having someone else controlling MY slave. Someone was using MY slave without my permission.
As I was on top of Zack, with his cock deep in side of me I told him what I would have done to his boss if I could - I told him I would have gone over to his office, slapped the shit out of his boss, then grab him by the hair and drag his sorry ass out of there, letting his "Ex-boss" know that Zack was MY slave and no one gets him unless I give them permission. I would never let him go back.
At that point, I experienced one killer of an orgasm- it totally caught me off guard, but it was pretty clear it was a direct result of my declaration of ownership of Zack and my Domination. This was a BIG deal.
We spend more time together, but the time came when we both had to leave. I had an appointment to look at an apartment for rent and he had to pick up his wife. The topper of the day. however, was that the apartment was great, and as far as I am concerned, it's MINE. Better yet, it is a block from Zack's work - so now, instead of ordering his ass to the fuckmobile, I'll be ordering his ass to my dungeon..
I am soooo excited!
Yes, Sir - the day ended very well indeed!
Tuesday 3 January 2012
Sometimes Shit Happens...
And today is one of those times. Right now I am SO pissed, SO frustrated! Although Zack thinks its because of something he has done, that he has failed me somehow,he's wrong.
Its his fucking employer that has me in such a state; this is one of those instance where, if I were a man, I'd punch a wall. I may anyway.
Tuesdays are Zack's busiest day (usually) because of deadlines. His bosses are arrogant assholes who are not only bullies, but don't have a fucking clue how their business is run. They don't care if Zack works 24/7 (which he does) as long as their deadlines are met. He does a lot of work for free and in essence is carrying the company on his back. He doesn't take vacations because it just makes life MORE stressful.
So, his idiot boss has enforced vacation time on him. Today (a fucking Tuesday) is supposed to be one of those days. So, Zack did what Zack does: worked all night trying to get the work done that needed to be done on Tuesday. So, he worked all night and is STILL working at 3 pm today. They call this a vacation??? There isn't a doubt in my mind that the jerk will also take today's pay out of Zack's vacation bank.
Zack thinks I'm mad at him because I wanted to see him today and now I'm not going to. I'm not mad at him. I just get so pissed when people are mistreated. And this is MY slave being mistreated.
FUCK!! Where's that wall??
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Monday 2 January 2012
I'm going deeper
Sarah is pulling me deeper into her world—and I like it.
She has such a surprising imagination. She will suggest things that sound absolutely outrageous, but I'm so drawn to doing them because of my deep desire to please.
She told me today that she's thinking about peeing on me again. Two years ago, I would have said I would be the last person to ever engage in this type of activity. Now, because it's Sarah who's saying this, I'm compelled and turned on by the possibility.
It's too bad that anyone reading this blog can't see Sarah, at least not yet. She's incredibly attractive, especially when she dresses in her leathers but also when she wears her normal work clothes.
For a long time, she had the habit of not wearing underwear when she knew she was going to see me. Sarah is so enchanting and, if you met her, you would realize that she's also funny. She has a great, great sense of humour.
I'm such a lucky slave.
Zack
She has such a surprising imagination. She will suggest things that sound absolutely outrageous, but I'm so drawn to doing them because of my deep desire to please.
She told me today that she's thinking about peeing on me again. Two years ago, I would have said I would be the last person to ever engage in this type of activity. Now, because it's Sarah who's saying this, I'm compelled and turned on by the possibility.
It's too bad that anyone reading this blog can't see Sarah, at least not yet. She's incredibly attractive, especially when she dresses in her leathers but also when she wears her normal work clothes.
For a long time, she had the habit of not wearing underwear when she knew she was going to see me. Sarah is so enchanting and, if you met her, you would realize that she's also funny. She has a great, great sense of humour.
I'm such a lucky slave.
Zack
Sunday 1 January 2012
My New Year's Resolution...
2012 is going to be a year like no other! I have been awake for the past hour thinking only of Zack and the future. I am finally "getting it", Zack. And I think you are as well. I think we are coming to a new understanding - of ourselves and of each other - an understanding of the needs and desires we have to be complete.
We have said this so often - it brings each of us great pleasure to please the other. I am learning that your servitude brings you great pleasure - the more you are able to serve, the happier you are. My goal is strictly your happiness - you have gone too far in your life without it - and when I am able to deliver happiness upon you, it pleases me very very much. But there is more to it than just pleasing each other. For the first 2 years of our relationship we tried that. We worked hard at it, but from our limited, vanilla perspectives.We did not know what we wanted/needed ourselves, how could we possibly satisfy the other? Not understanding ourselves and each other brought us both great unhappiness at times.
How utterly grateful I am to that interview (about Domme women) and the conversations that have ensued. It was like a grand door opening for us both to walk through. I wish we were able to share our individual journeys and our personal enlightenment with others. Perhaps we could help other lost souls realize their potential. Perhaps we could enlighten the world to the power, the commitment, the honesty and the sheer love an M/s relationship requires, that it isn't about pain, power over, humiliation or even ownership. It is about being honest with yourself and each other about your own needs and desires, about putting your partner before all else, about being so committed to the happiness of the other that you will do whatever it takes to accomplish that. It is about accepting the other completely without conditions, or without judgment. And it is about pure and honest love.
It is amazing how quickly a life can turn around. I am so grateful to the events put into place so many years ago that brought me directly to you, Zack. Looking back, it reminds me that our fates are sealed - our paths are destined and my destiny has always been you. I often bemoan the fact that we didn't meet sooner, but if we had, we would not have been the same people, I don't think we would have been ready for this and we would have missed our "NOW" entirely. What a tragedy that would have been.
So, here is my New Year's Resolution:
I resolve to be honest with myself, to recognize that the person I am is deserving of you and all you have to offer. I resolve to a commitment of helping you grow, of nurturing the wonderful man that you are, to helping you reach the great potential I see within you. I resolve to not hold back from you and in doing so, giving you what you want and need to be the happiest you can be as well. I resolve a commitment to your safety and well-being, to not only listening to you but to hear you as well, and to also hear what you are not saying.
And above all, I resolve to loving you with all the desire and passion that is in me.
Without you, I am nothing. We are Yin & Yang, Ego & Alter-Ego, Light & Dark, Balance & Counter-Balance. Purely 2 sides of the same coin. There can be nothing greater than this.
I Love You.
We have said this so often - it brings each of us great pleasure to please the other. I am learning that your servitude brings you great pleasure - the more you are able to serve, the happier you are. My goal is strictly your happiness - you have gone too far in your life without it - and when I am able to deliver happiness upon you, it pleases me very very much. But there is more to it than just pleasing each other. For the first 2 years of our relationship we tried that. We worked hard at it, but from our limited, vanilla perspectives.We did not know what we wanted/needed ourselves, how could we possibly satisfy the other? Not understanding ourselves and each other brought us both great unhappiness at times.
How utterly grateful I am to that interview (about Domme women) and the conversations that have ensued. It was like a grand door opening for us both to walk through. I wish we were able to share our individual journeys and our personal enlightenment with others. Perhaps we could help other lost souls realize their potential. Perhaps we could enlighten the world to the power, the commitment, the honesty and the sheer love an M/s relationship requires, that it isn't about pain, power over, humiliation or even ownership. It is about being honest with yourself and each other about your own needs and desires, about putting your partner before all else, about being so committed to the happiness of the other that you will do whatever it takes to accomplish that. It is about accepting the other completely without conditions, or without judgment. And it is about pure and honest love.
It is amazing how quickly a life can turn around. I am so grateful to the events put into place so many years ago that brought me directly to you, Zack. Looking back, it reminds me that our fates are sealed - our paths are destined and my destiny has always been you. I often bemoan the fact that we didn't meet sooner, but if we had, we would not have been the same people, I don't think we would have been ready for this and we would have missed our "NOW" entirely. What a tragedy that would have been.
So, here is my New Year's Resolution:
I resolve to be honest with myself, to recognize that the person I am is deserving of you and all you have to offer. I resolve to a commitment of helping you grow, of nurturing the wonderful man that you are, to helping you reach the great potential I see within you. I resolve to not hold back from you and in doing so, giving you what you want and need to be the happiest you can be as well. I resolve a commitment to your safety and well-being, to not only listening to you but to hear you as well, and to also hear what you are not saying.
And above all, I resolve to loving you with all the desire and passion that is in me.
Without you, I am nothing. We are Yin & Yang, Ego & Alter-Ego, Light & Dark, Balance & Counter-Balance. Purely 2 sides of the same coin. There can be nothing greater than this.
I Love You.
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