...is the one I share with Zack. Although the rest of my family was well aware of the death of my brother, no one has been as insightful, or as caring as Zack. He knew what I needed, even when I didn't. I do not like to demonstrate any signs of "weakness" regardless of the situation. I did not want Zack to see my tears. I do not cry in front of anyone. But all he had to do was lay down on the bed and hold me, and I knew I was "safe" there in his arms. I knew I would not be judged.
We talked, and somehow I told him things I had never intended to tell him. You see, my parenting skills were never stellar and as one topic lead to another, he learned what I had been like as a mother. That troubles me. Those are weaknesses I do not want him to know about. If my kids have turned out to be great young adults it is most definitely in spite of me, not because of me.
I am not the same person now as I was then. Regardless, I can't help but believe he must think less of me now.
Saturday 17 March 2012
Mistress spoiled her slut
Yesterday was incredible for me. Before work, I dropped by the apartment to visit Mistress. I was prepared to obediently remove all my clothes by the front door and leave them properly folded, and then kneel at the foot of the bed. But I heard her sneezing and, I suspected, crying. This is so unlike Mistress. She's so strong.
It turns out that she had just been informed of a death in the family, someone who was very troubled and whom she hadn't seen in a very long time. She was crying and I knew, as her devoted slave, job one was to comfort her and improve her mood.
I wanted Mistress to share her feelings and some memories, which she did. After a while, that beautiful smile emerged. And as I lay on the bed with her, I felt my arousal grow. I guess it was obvious when my head was nestled between her legs, kissing all around her pussy. She must have sensed my desire because she suddenly declared that she "wanted that cock".
And she unzipped my pants and started taking it in her mouth. Mistress likes teasing me in this way because she has forbidden me to come at these times. She was driving my wild. Eventually, she came to that place where she wanted to fuck my face, which she did so perfectly.
When I'm underneath her in this way, I'm powerless to do anything. Her pussy smothers my face and my tongue, and she grinds over me until she has her orgasm. These orgasms seem to be getting more intense for her as she becomes more and more accustomed to fucking slave's face.
I think it's because in that moment, she feels a strong sense of ownership and control—and that turns her on. There's nothing I can do when she's fucking me this way. I couldn't escape even if I wanted to, and I DON'T WANT TO ESCAPE AT THOSE TIMES.
I feel like I'm serving her like a slave in the court of Cleopatra. It's my destiny.
That wasn't all. I was so aroused by her that I snuck away from work later in the day for a short while. I was on my knees. She didn't seem like she wanted to fuck me at that time. But I asked if I could lie on the bed.
She eventually made the decision to remove all of her clothes except a very sexy bra and she mounted me. I was on the bottom, of course. Sarah fucked me with her wet pussy for a long, long time. For some reason, she thought my cock was bigger in the afternoon. I was just as aroused later in the day as I was in the morning for her.
She teased me, but she was also more Dominant, giving me strict instructions not to come. I could tell that she was serious. When she gets like this, she has a steely look of determination in her eye and her jaw juts forward ever so slightly in a look of aggression.
Her aggression is primal. I know what she is capable of at those times. I like experiencing this from time to time, even though it elicits fear with in me. I like it because it sets firm boundaries for me, as her slave, and centres me. The fear comes from knowing she's serious.
She said she likes it slow, and slow it was, as she fucked me and fucked me and fucked me. I wanted to make Mistress have an orgasm, but this was her show and she was in charge.
Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity, she mounted my face. After grinding over my face and my tongue, she had what appeared to me like an explosive orgasm.
Slave had done his job. I felt worthy of her love. I then returned to work.
Zack
It turns out that she had just been informed of a death in the family, someone who was very troubled and whom she hadn't seen in a very long time. She was crying and I knew, as her devoted slave, job one was to comfort her and improve her mood.
I wanted Mistress to share her feelings and some memories, which she did. After a while, that beautiful smile emerged. And as I lay on the bed with her, I felt my arousal grow. I guess it was obvious when my head was nestled between her legs, kissing all around her pussy. She must have sensed my desire because she suddenly declared that she "wanted that cock".
And she unzipped my pants and started taking it in her mouth. Mistress likes teasing me in this way because she has forbidden me to come at these times. She was driving my wild. Eventually, she came to that place where she wanted to fuck my face, which she did so perfectly.
When I'm underneath her in this way, I'm powerless to do anything. Her pussy smothers my face and my tongue, and she grinds over me until she has her orgasm. These orgasms seem to be getting more intense for her as she becomes more and more accustomed to fucking slave's face.
I think it's because in that moment, she feels a strong sense of ownership and control—and that turns her on. There's nothing I can do when she's fucking me this way. I couldn't escape even if I wanted to, and I DON'T WANT TO ESCAPE AT THOSE TIMES.
I feel like I'm serving her like a slave in the court of Cleopatra. It's my destiny.
That wasn't all. I was so aroused by her that I snuck away from work later in the day for a short while. I was on my knees. She didn't seem like she wanted to fuck me at that time. But I asked if I could lie on the bed.
She eventually made the decision to remove all of her clothes except a very sexy bra and she mounted me. I was on the bottom, of course. Sarah fucked me with her wet pussy for a long, long time. For some reason, she thought my cock was bigger in the afternoon. I was just as aroused later in the day as I was in the morning for her.
She teased me, but she was also more Dominant, giving me strict instructions not to come. I could tell that she was serious. When she gets like this, she has a steely look of determination in her eye and her jaw juts forward ever so slightly in a look of aggression.
Her aggression is primal. I know what she is capable of at those times. I like experiencing this from time to time, even though it elicits fear with in me. I like it because it sets firm boundaries for me, as her slave, and centres me. The fear comes from knowing she's serious.
She said she likes it slow, and slow it was, as she fucked me and fucked me and fucked me. I wanted to make Mistress have an orgasm, but this was her show and she was in charge.
Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity, she mounted my face. After grinding over my face and my tongue, she had what appeared to me like an explosive orgasm.
Slave had done his job. I felt worthy of her love. I then returned to work.
Zack
Thursday 15 March 2012
A Good Slave Always Comes in Handy...
I got some bad news this week - a death in my family. The most support I have gotten so far has been from Zack - he wants to do whatever I need to feel better. I've been through this many times before at various times of my life, everyone has. But the first experience or the 10th, you don't get used to it.
I heard often from Zack yesterday - despite the situation, a slut is a slut is a slut. And there is no doubt Zack is a slut of incredible magnitude. A slut who knows how to use his wiles to quickly put me into my Mistress position with him. He reminds me of my dogs at home. They know exactly how to get the Alpha Bitch's, their Mistress's attention regardless of her mood or distractions. They always know how to make me feel better, how to ease any pain I might be experiencing. My dogs are very obedient, attentive and well behaved. And when they are well behaved they always get a treat. Zack is exactly like one of my dogs - he will do whatever he can to get my attention, to bring my mood to a better place, to make me forget whatever it is that is affecting me. And being the cheap whore boy he is, his "treat" goes so much further than a cookie.
I told him I was going to be at the apartment all day today and tomorrow. He asked me if it would be ok if he came for a visit. He just wanted to do anything to make me feel better - hold me, talk, whatever. I told him that I knew that a good deal of fucking is the best therapy for grief. I'm pretty sure that if it was a stern beating that would make me feel better, he would have withstood that for me. He would do anything or nothing. Whatever I want.
I told him he could visit. I had laid down on the bed when I got here (it was very early); I was exhausted. I always totally relax when I am here. I quickly fell asleep. I woke up when he laid down beside me. It felt so great to lay there just snuggling. He had taken his clothes off except for his shorts and T shirt. We snuggled, we talked. Before long I had that cock in my mouth, taking him just to the edge- over and over. I got off the bed and stripped down to pink bra and panties (which I had worn specifically for Zack, btw.) What came next is best described by Zack himself. He just sent me this email about this morning:
He was very effective in getting my attention, he was successful in improving my mood. I do believe he even made the sun shine today for me. My whoring pet got his treat.
You gradually took control of the situation. It unfolded slowly.
I knew when you took my cock in your mouth that I was under your spell.
When you stripped down, stared at me, and left me wondering what was next, I really began moving into an alternate form of consciousness.
You started playing with me....
This intensified when you climbed on top of me. That bra makes your breasts look really, really sexy.
Then you were on top of me. My favourite position. I thought you were going to fuck my face, but you didn't.
You took my cock inside you. You had already told me that I was not allowed to come. But you made me feel so good. It feels so right being inside of you and you know how to move. you really know how to move...
then, you looked at me with more of a look of control. I like how you tell me that you don't care what I want.
I felt you're more Dominant nature surfacing.Then you straddled my chest. I knew what was coming.
I was your slave boy.
You moved on top of my face. I had come home to Mistress. As your arousal increased, I felt like I was a worthy slut for you.Your orgasm as explosive. So intense. I loved how you told me that you owned me as you groaned with pleasure.
I loved how you came all over my tongue.At that moment, I always feel so filled with love for you.
I love you very intensely at those times.
I was in subspace. I had forgotten about everything.
I knew when you took my cock in your mouth that I was under your spell.
When you stripped down, stared at me, and left me wondering what was next, I really began moving into an alternate form of consciousness.
You started playing with me....
This intensified when you climbed on top of me. That bra makes your breasts look really, really sexy.
Then you were on top of me. My favourite position. I thought you were going to fuck my face, but you didn't.
You took my cock inside you. You had already told me that I was not allowed to come. But you made me feel so good. It feels so right being inside of you and you know how to move. you really know how to move...
then, you looked at me with more of a look of control. I like how you tell me that you don't care what I want.
I felt you're more Dominant nature surfacing.Then you straddled my chest. I knew what was coming.
I was your slave boy.
You moved on top of my face. I had come home to Mistress. As your arousal increased, I felt like I was a worthy slut for you.Your orgasm as explosive. So intense. I loved how you told me that you owned me as you groaned with pleasure.
I loved how you came all over my tongue.At that moment, I always feel so filled with love for you.
I love you very intensely at those times.
I was in subspace. I had forgotten about everything.
You truly did own me. You'll always own me
Tuesday 13 March 2012
Sarah's intuition
Mistress Sarah is really beginning to understand me. I feel our relationship is deepening, our trust is increasing, and we're realizing how truly nonjudgmental each of us is.
I'm very, very lucky to have her in my life.
Zack
I'm very, very lucky to have her in my life.
Zack
Monday 12 March 2012
Feeding the Whore's Hunger...
I have often said Zack is like a kid in a candy store. I truly don't know if there is anything like his thirst, his hunger, his greed. I believe him when he says he will do anything I ask - as long as I am the one in control of the situation and of him. That demonstrates a trust he has been slow to come to. I suspect we will be able to move along into a deeper M/s relationship more quickly as a result.. I know I want that - more than anything. Zack makes me feel almost invincible. He meets all my needs - my innate need to nurture and my thirst and passion to exercise my nature - Domination. He accepts me for all I am, and all I will become. It is so surreal, and yet, here we are. He repeatedly says he needs my control, my Domination but I do need his submission easily as much - if not more.
Zack has asked me if I think his obsession with this M/s relationship is becoming pathological. Remember the little boy in the candy store? That little boy has always been there, deep inside of Zack, aching for an opportunity to explore that "store", to taste everything, to enjoy being allowed to explore, taste and experience everything without recrimination, without judgement and with only love and support. That is not pathology - that is freedom. For the first time in his life, he is free to explore his inner core, his true self and know that no matter what, he will not be abandoned, he will always be loved. He has that with me.
He is becoming more and more of a slut everyday. I am pretty sure Zack doesn't watch porn, but I do - all kinds. And as a result, I have all kinds of images going on in my mind, all kinds of games to possibly play. Zack seems eager to get that cock into his mouth (and vice versa) for me. This will very likely become another one of those activities he will say he is "forced" to do, but ends up actually begging for it in his head - just so I will be pleased and fuck him every which way but loose afterwards. My whore boy will always get what he wants, when he does what his Mistress wants and pleases her. Always.
But first things first. Before anything else happens, we have to move along to me gaining that level of control over him where I can fuck his ass the way I want so badly. This has to happen because I realise that what I want to eventually happen is me fucking his ass while he sucks another slave's cock. (I say slave because in my ideal scenario, the "toy" will also be forced to submit to this - will be bound and blindfolded during the scene. Once he comes, he will be ordered out so I can finish up with Zack) Just writing that now is mind boggling. 10 months ago, when we discovered this drive within ourselves and for each other, Zack asked me if one day I wanted to put on a strap-on and fuck his ass. Nothing was further from my mind. As a matter of fact, I was positive that this was something I would never want to do. Like they say - never say never. As our relationship evolves, as we learn more and understand each other better, as we learn to trust more fully we both seem to have the capacity to go deeper into the kink.
Our "kink" may never be what is depicted in the XXX rated sites, in the books, in the movies, in the clubs, but it will be ours. It will work for us. It will work for us because we will always be open and honest with each other, we will always discuss each step as it comes up. Whatever we do, we both will understand that we each have agreed on the role of the other. Just like in vanilla relationships, different things work for different people. We will simply be Sarah and Zack - deeply in love and totally committed to each other as Mistress and slave.
Zack has asked me if I think his obsession with this M/s relationship is becoming pathological. Remember the little boy in the candy store? That little boy has always been there, deep inside of Zack, aching for an opportunity to explore that "store", to taste everything, to enjoy being allowed to explore, taste and experience everything without recrimination, without judgement and with only love and support. That is not pathology - that is freedom. For the first time in his life, he is free to explore his inner core, his true self and know that no matter what, he will not be abandoned, he will always be loved. He has that with me.
He is becoming more and more of a slut everyday. I am pretty sure Zack doesn't watch porn, but I do - all kinds. And as a result, I have all kinds of images going on in my mind, all kinds of games to possibly play. Zack seems eager to get that cock into his mouth (and vice versa) for me. This will very likely become another one of those activities he will say he is "forced" to do, but ends up actually begging for it in his head - just so I will be pleased and fuck him every which way but loose afterwards. My whore boy will always get what he wants, when he does what his Mistress wants and pleases her. Always.
But first things first. Before anything else happens, we have to move along to me gaining that level of control over him where I can fuck his ass the way I want so badly. This has to happen because I realise that what I want to eventually happen is me fucking his ass while he sucks another slave's cock. (I say slave because in my ideal scenario, the "toy" will also be forced to submit to this - will be bound and blindfolded during the scene. Once he comes, he will be ordered out so I can finish up with Zack) Just writing that now is mind boggling. 10 months ago, when we discovered this drive within ourselves and for each other, Zack asked me if one day I wanted to put on a strap-on and fuck his ass. Nothing was further from my mind. As a matter of fact, I was positive that this was something I would never want to do. Like they say - never say never. As our relationship evolves, as we learn more and understand each other better, as we learn to trust more fully we both seem to have the capacity to go deeper into the kink.
Our "kink" may never be what is depicted in the XXX rated sites, in the books, in the movies, in the clubs, but it will be ours. It will work for us. It will work for us because we will always be open and honest with each other, we will always discuss each step as it comes up. Whatever we do, we both will understand that we each have agreed on the role of the other. Just like in vanilla relationships, different things work for different people. We will simply be Sarah and Zack - deeply in love and totally committed to each other as Mistress and slave.
Mistress's power
I just stopped emailing Mistress because I have an important job to do...but I'm becoming so addicted and enthralled with her that I just can't pull myself away.
I'm doing this final blog post of the night because I am completely enraptured. She loves control. She's really gotten to me now in ways that she doesn't probably recognize.
I'm smitten. I'm in love. I'm in awe. I'm utterly devoted to Mistress Sarah.
Zack
xoxox
I'm doing this final blog post of the night because I am completely enraptured. She loves control. She's really gotten to me now in ways that she doesn't probably recognize.
I'm smitten. I'm in love. I'm in awe. I'm utterly devoted to Mistress Sarah.
Zack
xoxox
Missing Mistress
I've been thinking a lot about Sarah today.
As she becomes more Dominant, I find that I'm desiring her control even more intensely.
Her last time with me was about as perfect as it could get.
She fucked me intensely and I loved pleasing her by saying I will follow her instructions if she demands me to suck cock for HER.
I love Mistress Sarah, more than ever.
Zack
As she becomes more Dominant, I find that I'm desiring her control even more intensely.
Her last time with me was about as perfect as it could get.
She fucked me intensely and I loved pleasing her by saying I will follow her instructions if she demands me to suck cock for HER.
I love Mistress Sarah, more than ever.
Zack
Sunday 11 March 2012
The real Sarah
Today, Sarah informed me that she needs Domination more than I need submission. That made me smile.
She also revealed in the post below that it sent her over the moon when I told her that I would suck a man's cock on her orders. I've sensed for a while that she wants to force me to do this. It's something that would give her the feeling of control
When I saw the photo below, at first, I was confused and a bit stunned. But now, when I see the way it's arranged with the woman forcing the slave, it makes my cock hard. I think of Sarah doing this. It makes me happy that Sarah doesn't judge me for this feeling.
Sarah is an incredible Mistress. I love making her orgasm in whatever way she likes.
Zack
She also revealed in the post below that it sent her over the moon when I told her that I would suck a man's cock on her orders. I've sensed for a while that she wants to force me to do this. It's something that would give her the feeling of control
When I saw the photo below, at first, I was confused and a bit stunned. But now, when I see the way it's arranged with the woman forcing the slave, it makes my cock hard. I think of Sarah doing this. It makes me happy that Sarah doesn't judge me for this feeling.
Sarah is an incredible Mistress. I love making her orgasm in whatever way she likes.
Zack
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