It's All About Structure...

Zack needs structure in his life. He does better when he knows what is expected of him and how he can be successful. I have to admit, I have not been very good at providing that. Zack has 3 components in his life - home, work and me. None of us have given him what he needs to make him feel whole. I am going to put processes in place that will give Zack the "structure" he needs. I am sure that if he feels sure and grounded in one life component, he will cope better in all of them. I guess I will have to wait and see.

I am going to give Zack some "rules", some direction that will be standardized in our relationship. It is going to be hard at first, for both of us, but it will be better in the end.

When I get these rules in place I will have Zack post about it here.
Keep your fingers crossed!
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Progress...

I'm new to this role of Mistress. When I started this blog, it was because I wanted to share my experience of coming to this revelation of not only who I am but who Zack is as well. This hasn't been easy.

I read everything I can - I am only happy when I am 100% successful- and that success is determined by my standards, not anyone else's. For ME, doing "my best" is not good enough, ever. When I go into something new, I will devour as much information as I can about the subject. I can't tell you the amounts I have spent on books, classes etc in my life as I went from one thing to the next - starting an aquarium, getting a dog, taking up embroidery, knitting, ceramics - it doesn't matter. And now, I find myself HERE, a self proclaimed Mistress to My boyfriend. It is no surprise that I have spent many hours on the internet researching the lifestyle, the ins and out of being the "M" in an M/s relationship. (I'm grateful for the internet - I don't have to buy books! The money I save buys me equipment instead lol Thanks, Steve Jobs!) What I found in my readings is that there are no rules, there are no instructions on how to be a perfect Mistress. I really hope that others new to this lifestyle stumble across this blog and learn from my experience.

I was reading a forum the other day and one topic that I read was about the existence of Mistress blogs. There seems to be an abundance of Master blogs, but few Mistress ones. The reason for that seems to be based in the societal attitude that women are still the weaker sex, and that a Mistress blog might expose a "weakness" in her.

Well, I believe the opposite to be true: as I write here, I am able to sort my thoughts and ideas. I find this blog makes me stronger in my role, but also allows me to demonstrate my "softer" side as well. A Mistress is the best of both worlds. She is strong, in control, sure of what she wants and demands those wants be delivered. She is also kind, loving, caring and forgiving. She is very intuitive to the feelings and needs of her slave without being taken advantage of. She makes sure her slave knows his place, that he is clear on the rules. Her primary goal is to improve not only her own life, but the life of her slave as well - mutual pleasure and happiness.

I'm getting there. My discussions with Zack have given me something to think about, and have enhanced my learning.

Something tells me Zack is a very lucky slave.
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Sarah's absence

I can't phone or email Sarah now and I'm missing her presence.

I hope she fucks me this week. I want to feel her demands.

I've been hard for Sarah all weekend. Yesterday, we discussed more intimate issues, including the topic of her post below.

The better I get to know Sarah, the more it's dawning upon me that she has the capacity to be a very demanding Mistress. This would surprise people who know her, because she is also incredibly sweet and loving.

She worries that if she gives a voice to this demanding side of her that she will lose me. I don't believe that will happen. We are two sides of the same coin.

She let it slip that in her readings, she has learned of Mistresses who sometimes make their slaves remain naked in the home. The thought of being ordered to remain naked for Sarah in this way does turn me on.

For Sarah, control is an aphrodisiac. I like giving her more control because it heightens her pleasure. I'm hoping that one day, I will have the privilege of wearing her leash in public.

She has indicated that she will be giving me instructions. I look forward to this.

I also want her to urinate on me. It will show her in a very authentic way that she has control, more than she realized. When I'm Sarah's slut, I feel like I've come home. I am closer to my true self, the true self that I can't reveal in the workplace.

I'm also so happy that Sarah likes my big cock. I want her to consider this as her possession.

Zack