I am basking in the deliciousness that is Zack. From my perspective, we had an absolutely fantastic afternoon. Zack came with the intent to please me and he came through in spades. He gave it his all. If there were ANY doubt (there wasn't, but if there were) about his ability to be my slut, it does not exist now. I was able to push him to his "edge" and a little bit beyond.
I am not sure he fully understands why I give him pain, or why I want that ass of his. The pain can be fully explained via the link I added this morning "The Science Behind BDSM". Read it, the info there is fascinating.
Thursday 8 December 2011
Turning Pain into Pleasure...
Zack has a hard time with pain. He is terrified of it. He wants to be able to handle it for Me, he wants to experience pain as pleasure, but doesn't know how. I'm trying to help him - I know what I have to do when I have to tolerate pain - I "go to my happy place" - but it's tough to explain the mechanism of that. So, true to form - I'm doing research. Here are some tips I found to how to make that nipple clamping, flogging, or spanking something you only want more of.
The pain in this world is inevitable. A good relationship finds a way to make the experience the best it can be.
The pain in this world is inevitable. A good relationship finds a way to make the experience the best it can be.
Wednesday 7 December 2011
Zack Continues to Amaze me...
I actually don't know what to say - What Zack wrote below is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said about Me, or to Me. I'm stuck for words, I am completely caught off guard by his passion and his very obvious devotion to Me.
Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives. I have planned things quite carefully, but we all know about the plans of mice and men...
"The best laid schemes of mice and men / Go oft awry" (Robert Burns, 1785)
We'll see if things go as planned, won't we??
Zack wrote me earlier and mentioned that he was experiencing a "little fear". A little fear is good now and then, especially in this kind of relationship. I intentionally keep him a little "off kilter" - this maintains his level of anticipation. An Alpha Bitch always strikes a little fear in the pack - it keeps them on their toes and paying attention. Zack needs to pay attention and to remember that although I love him desperately, I do demand a certain level of respect and servitude from him. I am not playing a game - this is very serious to me. I hope it is as serious to him. I guess we'll see, won't we??
Zack will receive an order to write his thoughts, feelings and impressions of the events of the day on this blog. I simply can't wait to read it
Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives. I have planned things quite carefully, but we all know about the plans of mice and men...
"The best laid schemes of mice and men / Go oft awry" (Robert Burns, 1785)
We'll see if things go as planned, won't we??
Zack wrote me earlier and mentioned that he was experiencing a "little fear". A little fear is good now and then, especially in this kind of relationship. I intentionally keep him a little "off kilter" - this maintains his level of anticipation. An Alpha Bitch always strikes a little fear in the pack - it keeps them on their toes and paying attention. Zack needs to pay attention and to remember that although I love him desperately, I do demand a certain level of respect and servitude from him. I am not playing a game - this is very serious to me. I hope it is as serious to him. I guess we'll see, won't we??
Zack will receive an order to write his thoughts, feelings and impressions of the events of the day on this blog. I simply can't wait to read it
Sarah's feminine charms
I'm working, but I couldn't help but drag myself away because I needed contact with Sarah... even if it's just to read an email or a post from her on this blog.
Normally, I don't venture into all the links that Sarah has placed on this site. But this morning, I was curious to read the BDSM quote of the day. That was something I hadn't seen on the right hand side. I went there, and came across the following blog post. Here's part of what was written....
"Todays question: Do I really need to be a bitch to be dominant?...So yesterday I wondered on the soft side of being Domme. Do I really need to be a bitch to be perceived as a Domme? My answer is no. I actually think that my soft side gives the Domme side of me more impact. I am, in the beautiful sense, a real bitch to a man Sub to me but I am also a loving woman, and the woman side of me is whats makes me a great Domme. I am a powerful and strong minded woman but still in every sense a true woman will all the female attributes....I use my attributes and my strong will to get my Sub were I want...So as much as I love being a bitch I love being a woman - soft and strong at the same time and I do not in any way feel that that makes me any less dominant."
This could have been written by Sarah. She's so beautiful and so feminine. But she's also so strong and decisive. Her feminine side....her beauty, her smile, her love...these things hooked me. But I could sense there was a different undercurrent with her. She would decide when and how to fuck me. She took the initiative. She decided if she was going to do something outrageous, like oral sex in the fuckmobile. Gradually, I became more and more immersed and taken under her spell, to the point where I am now completely wrapped around her finger.
But even though she has a side of her that's a very Dominant Bitch, never lose sight of the fact that she's also a stunningly beautiful, feminine woman.
Any woman who is reading this and who is inspired by Sarah's journey should keep this in mind. Sarah is all woman. Nowhere is this more obvious than when she straddles me, on top, and takes my big hard cock inside her. FOR HER PLEASURE. It's not about me. It's about her. I love Sarah very much.
Zack
Normally, I don't venture into all the links that Sarah has placed on this site. But this morning, I was curious to read the BDSM quote of the day. That was something I hadn't seen on the right hand side. I went there, and came across the following blog post. Here's part of what was written....
"Todays question: Do I really need to be a bitch to be dominant?...So yesterday I wondered on the soft side of being Domme. Do I really need to be a bitch to be perceived as a Domme? My answer is no. I actually think that my soft side gives the Domme side of me more impact. I am, in the beautiful sense, a real bitch to a man Sub to me but I am also a loving woman, and the woman side of me is whats makes me a great Domme. I am a powerful and strong minded woman but still in every sense a true woman will all the female attributes....I use my attributes and my strong will to get my Sub were I want...So as much as I love being a bitch I love being a woman - soft and strong at the same time and I do not in any way feel that that makes me any less dominant."
This could have been written by Sarah. She's so beautiful and so feminine. But she's also so strong and decisive. Her feminine side....her beauty, her smile, her love...these things hooked me. But I could sense there was a different undercurrent with her. She would decide when and how to fuck me. She took the initiative. She decided if she was going to do something outrageous, like oral sex in the fuckmobile. Gradually, I became more and more immersed and taken under her spell, to the point where I am now completely wrapped around her finger.
But even though she has a side of her that's a very Dominant Bitch, never lose sight of the fact that she's also a stunningly beautiful, feminine woman.
Any woman who is reading this and who is inspired by Sarah's journey should keep this in mind. Sarah is all woman. Nowhere is this more obvious than when she straddles me, on top, and takes my big hard cock inside her. FOR HER PLEASURE. It's not about me. It's about her. I love Sarah very much.
Zack
Tuesday 6 December 2011
The Evolution of the Mistress and the slave...
And here we are, at long last. What I am feeling is quite difficult to explain, to analyze. I'll try.
I love the note Zack wrote below. This is one of those rare times when he has exposed his heart and shared what is there. He feels as I do: safe at last. He has shared his vulnerability. I need that. In a perverse sort of way it defines his suitability to become a very good slave.
I don't think I really believed that before.
I suspect I believed this was just a game he thought he wanted to play and that if the game got a little tough, if *I* got a little tough, he would pack up his toys and go home. In all aspects of my life, that has been the case: constant recriminations for being a strong willed, domineering bitch rather than the demure little lady. So the bitch has been kept under wraps for many years. The chained tiger has been aching to be set free.
I believe Zack now - I am not sure why now and not before, but it doesn't matter. I trust him when he says he will never leave, that there is nothing I could do that would make him leave me. I believe I am safe. I believe I am home.
Now, to Zack: just this one time you will get a pass for telling everyone what you want. It doesn't matter what you want. I will suck your cock when *I* want, I will fuck your face when *I* want. And about that- you like getting your face fucked too much. Its like a reward to you. So now, you are going to have to earn it with your servitude. I will have to come up with some tasks for you to complete if I am to fuck that beautiful face of yours.
Now, what do I want right now? I truly want to feel your tongue inside me, I want to feel you fucking me with your tongue. I want to feel you teasing my clit, driving me crazy until I can't take another second. I want to feel my head explode like it did on friday.
And now I have to go to work with soaking wet panties. I can't wait to get you tied to that bed on Thursday- of course that will be after I have truly marked you as my property before hand like the Alpha Bitch I am.
I am Woman - hear Me roar.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Sarah has arisen
Sarah is really asserting herself now.
This is having a two-fold effect on me.
1. The first primal reaction is intense desire. It's hard to even put into words the magnitude of the electrical jolt that pulsates through me.
2. The secondary reaction is some fear and anxiety over the unknown. What kind of world am I entering?
I trust and love Sarah. But I recognize that I am losing all control over this relationship. This is an exciting, albeit uncertain time.
She's extremely Dominant. She has this capacity within her, and not just sexually. I have awoken this inside her. She has finally found a situation where she can be herself in her totality.
This is exciting to be so raw and real and authentic. But I do worry about her fucking my virginal ass.
I loved her peeing on me, though. This was a new experience. The intimacy was intense. Maybe, just maybe, the pleasure will continue as we explore other areas of our loving M/s relationship.
Zack
This is having a two-fold effect on me.
1. The first primal reaction is intense desire. It's hard to even put into words the magnitude of the electrical jolt that pulsates through me.
2. The secondary reaction is some fear and anxiety over the unknown. What kind of world am I entering?
I trust and love Sarah. But I recognize that I am losing all control over this relationship. This is an exciting, albeit uncertain time.
She's extremely Dominant. She has this capacity within her, and not just sexually. I have awoken this inside her. She has finally found a situation where she can be herself in her totality.
This is exciting to be so raw and real and authentic. But I do worry about her fucking my virginal ass.
I loved her peeing on me, though. This was a new experience. The intimacy was intense. Maybe, just maybe, the pleasure will continue as we explore other areas of our loving M/s relationship.
Zack
Thoughts about Sarah
Sarah has really gotten into my core. I have avoided the blog because I had been posting at work, and this worried me.
Now, I can write freely. My attraction to Sarah is intensifying. I don't understand this, nor do I seek to understand this. I've become quite obsessed, practically addicted, checking my emails repeatedly throughout the day.
I want Sarah to live in my neighbourhood, and then I feel very guilty about this desire, almost like I don't deserve this for myself. I confuse her with my mixed signals, and this then makes me sad. She deserves clarity and she doesn't always get this from me.
You can see my note below, where I wrote that Sarah is showing a side of herself as a Hot Dominant Bitch. She's extremely loving, incredibly loving, but she also has this within her. I want her to know that I love her. And she can reveal this part of herself without fear of abandonment.
I know she has been reluctant because it's considered socially unacceptable. But I don't care about that.
The fact that she posted my comment on this blog---out of all the comments I made yesterday---suggests to me that at some level, it struck a chord.
Sarah likes hearing from me on the blog because I open up. She's correct. I am the kid in the candy store. I'm attracted to everything, but that doesn't mean that everything will always taste good. I need her guidance to lead me at the correct pace. She has done a spectacular job so far.
Iwish she was here to suck my cock. I wish she was here to push me on the bed and fuck me. I wish she could fuck my face.
I hope she's not too harsh on me when I get very excited. I can't help my deep sexual attraction for Sarah. It's just meant to be. I need Sarah. She keeps me grounded when everything is going astray.
Now, I can write freely. My attraction to Sarah is intensifying. I don't understand this, nor do I seek to understand this. I've become quite obsessed, practically addicted, checking my emails repeatedly throughout the day.
I want Sarah to live in my neighbourhood, and then I feel very guilty about this desire, almost like I don't deserve this for myself. I confuse her with my mixed signals, and this then makes me sad. She deserves clarity and she doesn't always get this from me.
You can see my note below, where I wrote that Sarah is showing a side of herself as a Hot Dominant Bitch. She's extremely loving, incredibly loving, but she also has this within her. I want her to know that I love her. And she can reveal this part of herself without fear of abandonment.
I know she has been reluctant because it's considered socially unacceptable. But I don't care about that.
The fact that she posted my comment on this blog---out of all the comments I made yesterday---suggests to me that at some level, it struck a chord.
Sarah likes hearing from me on the blog because I open up. She's correct. I am the kid in the candy store. I'm attracted to everything, but that doesn't mean that everything will always taste good. I need her guidance to lead me at the correct pace. She has done a spectacular job so far.
Iwish she was here to suck my cock. I wish she was here to push me on the bed and fuck me. I wish she could fuck my face.
I hope she's not too harsh on me when I get very excited. I can't help my deep sexual attraction for Sarah. It's just meant to be. I need Sarah. She keeps me grounded when everything is going astray.
Monday 5 December 2011
The Way We Are...
I am seriously hoping that the "dry spell" this blog has been struggling under is soon over. Although I started this blog, and there shouldn't be an expectation for anyone else to post here, I find I get bored with it when Zack isn't around. I like reading what Zack has to say - he lets his real thoughts and feelings out here, I learn about him here. yes, we have been together almost 2 1/2 years and I am still learning about him. And we are both learning about ourselves.
Last Friday was sort of a "milestone" for us, I think. We seem to have moved forward.. in great strides.
Today, Zack sent me this e-mail:
"I like this message from you.
At this point in your life, it appears like you need a slave to boss around and fuck...just as I need what only you can give: stern demanding commands underscored by deep love.
We're both coming to terms with the fact that it turns me on to be your complete slut, just as you must have ownership to feel fulfilled.
You're a hot Dominant Bitch. Just thinking about you this way gets me close to cumming, but I won't, because I know it's not permitted."
What I had written was:
You did this - you finally trust me. That trust has allowed you to feel what's inside and to share it with me, knowing you are safe. The impact of that has resulted in me doing the same.
I want you. I WANT to own you, I WANT you as my boy toy, I WANT to control you - and not just sexually (but at this point I'll take what I can get). Not only do I want this for me, for me to take/have that control over someone but because I also know that this kind of relationship makes you feel as complete as I do, brings you as much pleasure as I get.
I have always loved you, from the very first day, but I have not always been happy. There have been times when I have been downright miserable and as a result have made you miserable as well. But "something" made us stick it out, and something made me watch that particular interview (about Dominatrix).
This path we are on is the one we are destined to travel. Being your Mistress is the very best feeling in the world.
I have never felt so strong, so confident. You did that.
Your reward will be endless experiences at my desire, at my will. You will serve me as I wish - sexually for now, but I want to be confident that there is hope for more in the future (and before I am too old to wield the crop or wear those boots lol)
One day I WILL have you naked at the door waiting for your Mistress to arrive home.
One day.
We are spending next Thursday afternoon together. I will order Zack to write about it here. Trust me when I tell you - It is going to be an afternoon neither of us will ever forget.
Last Friday was sort of a "milestone" for us, I think. We seem to have moved forward.. in great strides.
Today, Zack sent me this e-mail:
"I like this message from you.
At this point in your life, it appears like you need a slave to boss around and fuck...just as I need what only you can give: stern demanding commands underscored by deep love.
We're both coming to terms with the fact that it turns me on to be your complete slut, just as you must have ownership to feel fulfilled.
You're a hot Dominant Bitch. Just thinking about you this way gets me close to cumming, but I won't, because I know it's not permitted."
What I had written was:
You did this - you finally trust me. That trust has allowed you to feel what's inside and to share it with me, knowing you are safe. The impact of that has resulted in me doing the same.
I want you. I WANT to own you, I WANT you as my boy toy, I WANT to control you - and not just sexually (but at this point I'll take what I can get). Not only do I want this for me, for me to take/have that control over someone but because I also know that this kind of relationship makes you feel as complete as I do, brings you as much pleasure as I get.
I have always loved you, from the very first day, but I have not always been happy. There have been times when I have been downright miserable and as a result have made you miserable as well. But "something" made us stick it out, and something made me watch that particular interview (about Dominatrix).
This path we are on is the one we are destined to travel. Being your Mistress is the very best feeling in the world.
I have never felt so strong, so confident. You did that.
Your reward will be endless experiences at my desire, at my will. You will serve me as I wish - sexually for now, but I want to be confident that there is hope for more in the future (and before I am too old to wield the crop or wear those boots lol)
One day I WILL have you naked at the door waiting for your Mistress to arrive home.
One day.
We are spending next Thursday afternoon together. I will order Zack to write about it here. Trust me when I tell you - It is going to be an afternoon neither of us will ever forget.
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