Just So I Am Clear...

The post below does not mean I am replacing Zack.. far from it! Adding a 2nd slave to our play will be as exciting for him as it will be for Me. While I play with the little bitch, Zack will be observing - and also learning new techniques and identifying things that he can do for me as well.

Of course, I will take great pleasure in forcing my 2 slaves to work together for my enjoyment. There are untold scenarios I can come up with!
But first things first - I need to create a list of preferences and then Zack has to figure out how to make it happen for Me. He is a smart boy, I am confident he will come through with a winner - that W/we can both enjoy.

Now I've Gone and Done It!...

I can't sleep. When I do, a new obsession fills my dreams. The dreams are so arousing that I masturbate to relax enough to go back to sleep - knowing the same dreams will re-occur, welcoming that.

In a recent post on the forum at Slaveduties BDSM Community, I talked about ordering Zack to find me another slave. That was a test - I wanted to see how he would respond. He responded perfectly, saying he would do his best to ensure my pleasure and my happiness, even though I know that sharing his Mistress is not on his list of desires.

I have never been with a woman, and have only occasionally fantasized about this throughout My life - never taking it seriously, never wishing to bring the fantasy to life. When I told Zack to find Me another slave, I told him to find a she-bitch. A very submissive woman who knows her place, who will welcome the pain/pleasure I would deliver, who would be as good a slut as I could ever want. A little bitch who would beg Me to use My crop, My teeth, clamps, My whip, My toys on her - and who would experience euphoria as a result.

I read several posts on the Slaveduties community forum last night, many of the posts written by the bitch slaves there - those little sluts have opened a floodgate of visions, of desires, of dreams for Me. Now "she" has occupied my mind, my dreams, my fantasies. Where I was only talking before, testing Zack, I now mean it. I want that little bitch slut under me, and I want her soon!

Zack is about to get some very specific orders - he had better be successful! 

Conditioning Zack for More Control..

Of all the things I want to do with Zack, fucking his ass is number 1 on My hit parade. This in itself is somewhat surprising to Me.. When Zack and I came to the revelation of O/our connection as Mistress and slave, he asked Me if I wanted to get a strap-on and fuck him in the ass. At that time, I was still trying to figure Myself out and how I fit into this life. Getting a strap-on was the furthest from My mind and I told him that. He admitted then that the idea made him very, very nervous as well,.

But, as time goes by, as W/we try different things, the idea keeps coming back to Me. So much so that now, My #1 goal is to fuck him in a way no one has ever done, or ever will do. I want to have the ultimate control and power over him. So, the "training" has begun.

I've done a crazy amount of reading on the topic, watched videos, and bought a variety of anal toys.(Before coming to this lifestyle I was soooo vanilla - and sex shops were evil places to avoid.. LOL - now they are my favourite hangout!) What I have learned is that this is going to be an amazing experience for Zack if  I do it right. As well as just plain old fucking his ass, I have purchased a prostate massager - the video I watched turned me on so much - the thought of turning Zack into that kind of a mindless, blubbering idiot is a huge turn on. So, today I told him that what I was going to do to him was this:  I will get him to accept the prostate massager into the gorgeous tight little ass of his. While he is experiencing that A spot orgasm, I will be fucking his face and sucking on his cock all at the same time. Talk about being fucked!! Zack is going to be one very lucky slave!

So, last week, I got as far as inserting the tip of My finger into his ass. You would have thought I was raping him, he got so worked up. So I stopped. In reflection, I think I am being a little too soft on him. He wants Me to do more, he wants Me to use him, abuse him,  he wants Me to humiliate him - and yet I have been holding back. It's time for me to get my big Mistress boots on and be who I need to be.

I'll make sure Zack posts his thoughts on last week's session, as well as subsequent ones.
Stay tuned!

It Never Takes Me Very Long...,

Zack says I have an insatiable appetite - he's right. But let's face it, he is such a slut he wouldn't have it any other way. So, here I am getting ready for bed and it's been 5 days since I have had the opportunity to use him the way he LOVES to be used. He loves being treated like so much meat.. One thing he finds particularly appealing is when I show up at his work, and order him to come to my car (he has nick-named it the "Fuckmobile"). Actually, I call him at his office and tell him to get his fucking ass into my car - NOW!  he does come running, that's for sure. He makes such a great sex toy -and he has the most perfect cock for me to ride.  And he isn't allowed to cum until he has been very very good. If he does, well, he knows there just might be a risk of him being replaced by a new slave who has a greater ability to restrain himself. The fact that he says I am "just too perfect, just too sexy" doesn't cut him any slack with me. I hope he always keeps this in the back of his mind - keeping him off kilter simply makes him a better slave.
he hasn't been very successful lately at holding off, so, he won't get the opportunity to feel that cock of his inside me anytime soon- which is most unfortunate, but it is a damned good thing his face is so perfect for fucking, because that's all he is going to get for a while.At least I am certain to have an explosive orgasm this way. Last week I fucked his face twice in very short order - I grin when I think about it, because he made the comment that the last time I fucked him like I "definitely meant it" - it was pretty intense.I wonder if he was even able to breath. lol.
I'm going to get him into the fuckmobile tomorrow afternoon - I'm horny and I need that mother fucker soon.
He is supposed to be posting his thoughts here about our last scene - I took him just beyond his edge, so it will be interesting to read that.
Now, it's time to sleep, and to dream (and probably masturbate) about Zack.

Good night, dear readers. Stay tuned.

Every Week a New Lesson...

I wonder when we will ever get the hang of this?
Both Zack and I were sick on the weekend - we were both experiencing dizziness for a couple of days. it was very weird.

Then, Zack sent me an email yesterday saying he was quite "down" - I knew imediately what that was about - unfortunately, he had fallen asleep on Thursday when I was reading to him from the website "The Science Behind BDSM" - he is experiencing "sub-drop". Ironically, i was feeling exactly the same way , but there was no mention of "Dom-drop" anywhere :-(

I kept searching - I mean, there is so much about subs and their care – sub space, after care, sub drop, yet, not a single word about what the Dominant goes through after a scene where she has pushed her slave to the limit and beyond. Maybe we are supposed to be unfeeling bitches that just do what they do and take everything in stride.. like our neurotransmitters remain constant, like we need nothing.. I simply don't beleive it. I suspect there are Doms out there that are EXACTLY like that, but I am not one of them. Lucky for me, I decided to check out one of my favorites sites The Steel-Door.

The entire article is very insightful, but primarily it explains how a Mistress also feels the drain from being the one "in control" whenever they are with their sub. I hope Zack has the time to read it. Not that he has these types of expectations on me, but sometimes I feel like I need to be "in control" whenever we are together. I guess it is a matter of feeling it is necessary for me to ensure his needs are met. i put the pressure on myself. Then, when we are apart I too experience that 'drop". We need to figure out a way to over come that.