A New Day?

Last weekend I got an email from Zack. Several, in fact. He doesn't want it to be "over", he doesn't want us to "disappear from each other". We exchanged a few bits of correspondence over the weekend, and then it was back to work. I really do love that man and I am so weak where he is concerned, so I agreed to wait while he "got his work life in order". Of course, next week his wife is going to New York. I figured that would be a perfect time for us to get some time to re-connect. As a surprise, i booked a hotel room - after all, with his wife away, we could actually spend the entire night together!

I called him after work last night to chat. We laughed about silly stuff, just like old times. Last weekend, he had said there had been some glitches in the trip his wife was taking, but he was working furiously to get them sorted out, to make sure she was able to go. So, while talking to him last night, I asked how that was going. He said it looked like it was going to work out. Then he said, as casual as can be, "Oh, I'm going too." I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. Here he was - can barely find even 10 minutes to have a cup of coffee with me in the past 6 months and now he can suddenly take several days to go away with his wife? Suddenly his work isn't that busy and demanding?

I am such a sap. I have told him that it is my turn to disappear and that he should take this time away to re-group and to think about his future. If he wants me in it, then we can talk when he gets back. If he doesn't, then I told him not to contact me.
I suspect I will never hear from him again.

it's Really Over.....

I called Zack's office last night - for no other reason that to hear his voice. My heart jumped when he answered the phone.
What a mistake. Well, maybe not a mistake. The end result is that I have come face to face with the truth. I think I will always have a glimmer of hope, but it is pretty clear that Zack and Sarah are over. Not once in that 10 minute conversation did I hear any words of love, not once did he even indicate he missed me. He did say how busy he was,he talked about work, his wife but then it became clear that everything, ANYTHING in his life is more important than reaching out to me.

I have become inconsequential to him. Nothing could be more clear now. I have been holding onto a puff of air for the past 4 months. That puff has vanished.There is nothing more to say.

The End.