I gave Zack a task. I thought it would be fairly simple: he was to memorize a few statements I prepared for him and repeat them to himself every time he is in the shower. I told him that the next time I saw him, he would be required to repeat it to me.
5 days later we got together to play. At a moment I knew he wouldn't be on guard, I asked the question.
He looked at me rather sheepishly and said, in his little boy voice "I think I'm going to be punished". He hadn't followed the instructions he had been given.
I was actually surprised at how this made me feel. I thought I would feel it was no big deal, but instead I was very disappointed. I took it very personally, even though I know Zack was not acting out of a lack of respect. I knew he had a bad week going on, but in hindsight, I felt my attempt to bring some structure to his life had been discarded. He had told me that "structure" makes him anxious, and this felt like pushback.
Disappointing me was very upsetting to zack. His distress almost broke my heart. How could I be upset? I forgave him, but he needs to understand that I DO know what is best for him and when I give him instructions they are given with careful consideration with his life and work, but I do expect them to be followed.
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