It Was a VERY Good Week...

I am also aware that I need to take each day as it comes - I have to take care of myself and my needs, so I am determined not to go to that dark place again, just because zack is acting like a jerk.

I had to go back to the apartment yesterday because I forgot to pay this last month's rent. (I can not begin to tell you how each passing day makes me sadder about this, but I have to do this, I have to let this apartment go). zack asked me if i could change my mind. I will be honest and tell you that I have gone back and forth on this a million times. I am procrastinating getting the furniture advertised and sold. I really do love coming here to work, to relax and yes, to fuck zack. But I have examined this closely - this apartment is part of the trouble I get myself into. Because it is within a block of where zack lives and works, I think I put more expectations on it than I thought. I rented the apartment to make it easier to see zack - for quick visits, long visits, spontaneous visits. This week has resulted in exactly what I had hoped this apartment would do - although we haven't spent hours and hours together, I have spent time with zack 4 out of 5 days - without, I think, any problem for him. Yes, if I thought, even for a moment, that this was sustainable, I would keep the apartment. But (and maybe it is my turn to be paranoid) I think that zack's attentiveness this week is a reaction to my mood of late and my giving notice at the apartment. In essence, I think he has come to realize that he can not take me for granted. I just think that if I were to change my mind about it, we would quickly fall back into old patterns.

Another point I made to zack is that this apartment has become our relationship. Since renting the apartment it is the only place we are together. Where we used to meet for coffee or breakfast, where I would pick him up in my car and whisk him away for a half hour or so, or fuck him in the back seat of my car in a nearby parkade (yes, I love to live dangerously LOL) or take a hike - we do none of these things anymore. The apartment has narrowed zack's world even more, to the detriment of us both, I'm afraid. So, yes, the apartment has to go.

zack was a naughty boy yesterday. He showed up at the apartment. I had already decided that if he showed up, I was going to fuck him for the 4th time this week. Yum. He has been very good at the orgasm denial - exceptional, I think. But I guess a man has limits.And it doesn't help when I taunt him so mercilessly. I ordered his pants off - and he was wielding a very huge cock - honestly, it was bigger than I have ever seen it. I could barely get it into my mouth - and that is saying something, trust me. Oh, I was looking very forward to having that stuffed deep inside me and the deeper the better. I pinned his arms down and straddled him. Looking deep into his eyes, watching his every reaction, I slid down onto that gorgeous cock. Then I leaned forward and whispered in his ear "tell me how that feels".. I knew how it felt, but it arouses him more to have to describe it. His words: "wonderful" "like coming home" "intense" told me I was not wrong on his level of arousal. Then I looked him in the eye and ordered "put your knees up". His eyes got very big, because we both knew what that does to him - it is a position that makes it extremely difficult for him to prevent his orgasm. This is the position that gets him into so much trouble when I fuck him in the back seat of my car (and come to think of it, I haven't done that in my new car.. hmmm). When his knees are up it pushes his cock to the hilt inside me and I am filled up with him. Her did as he was told, and I began riding him, and whispering in his ear the whole time. Fuck!! It felt so wonderful!  I love tormenting him this way.. lol. I don' t know how it feels to him when I near orgasm, but the feeling must change for him, because that is when he starts crying "what are you doing to me? what are you DOING to me?!!" I knew. I knew exactly what I was doing.

Suddenly, he began laughing - oh, not a "gee,  am I having fun" kind of laugh but "Holy Fuck! I just came and she is going to KILL me!" kind of nervous laugh. He came and I had not. he ought to be nervous. I stared him in the eye for a moment.  I said "What did you DO???" He tried so hard to make me believe he had "not lost it all". Right. I am not stupid.

he came, and he had not been given permission. What to do, what to do? well, I guess the least he could do was clean up his mess. And I was not leaving without my own release, my own orgasm. So, with that thought, I removed myself from his now very soft cock and fucked his face. My juices and his cum all over his face...that was the best orgasm of the week. zack done good without intending to.... and I guess we all know who was really in control, right?? Everything that happened was at my desire and zack was my very willing slut, my delicious whoreboy.

Yes, it was a very good week, indeed.

As always,
Love, Sarah