OK, here I am..

I haven't posted here in a long time, and I was reluctant to do so now, but I wanted our readers to understand where our relationship is currently.
Our relationship has changed - it had to. I am exploring alternatives without any guilt.. Zack is simply not available to meet my demands when I need them met. We have not spent any length of time together for over 2 months (since I let the apartment go) - and that has been extremely hard.

I cannot sit around waiting, he can not handle the stress my "expectations" put on him. So, I have made a connection with a young man I have known for some time and with whom I have engaged in a mutual "flirtatious" game during that time. I am now prepared to take it to the next level with him - I believe he is submissive, but may not be fully aware - I will break him in gently.

But I need sex, I need to feel a big cock inside me again. Once a month is just not enough. I also need to take my relationship with Zack to the next level. he may never have sex again - he may simply become my servant - preparing things for my dates, sitting quietly by while I fuck and suck someone else, ever ready to do my bidding - if I order him to suck cock, he will be expected to.. as a matter of fact, the idea of having him on his hands and knees, with his head held firmly between my thighs while my toy fucks his mouth is extremely appealing.. and hopefully it's a big black one - I want to see him gag on it, knowing that he has no choice in the matter.

So, it's one day at a time. But don't think my feelings for him have changed - Zack is still the love of my life. I need him in my life some how, some way - right now, this seems the best way..