I Can't Sleep...

Thoughts of my meeting with Zack yesterday afternoon are filling My mind, making it impossible to sleep.
Every encounter seems to open another door for us to step through. Yesterday I saw (on his face) and heard (in his voice as well as in his words) how much Zack wants My Domination, NEEDS My Domination, and I realize how much I need to Dominate him. He is quite right - My confidence in this IS deepening with every date we have. What is curious, and I think unique to us, is that I don't have these feelings, this need, for anyone else. I have a husband whom I suspect just might welcome a certain level of sexual dominance from Me, yet I have no interest there. Zack tells Me the same- that he only feels this way with Me. He only want ME as his Mistress.

I think this relationship, this M/s relationship, has evolved out of our previous connection. We fell in love first, we developed the complete trust in each other, through a series of ups and downs, before we figured out the rest. Our evolution to Mistress/slave was born from our love and devotion to each other. I think in many of these types of relationships the opposite is true - that couples come together within the BDSM community in Mistress-slave roles and seek the love connection after the fact. This is, in My estimation, what makes Zack and I a unique couple.
I think this is the reason why I have struggled with My role. I am so in love with Zack, I care so much about his wellbeing that it has been a challenge for Me to Dominate him fully. I simply wasn't convinced that Domination, ownership, humiliation, discipline or punishment was truly what he wanted or needed. I was afraid of hurting him both physically as well as emotionally. I would rather die than hurt him in any way. Up until very recently I believed Zack was just attracted to the idea of Domination rather than the reality of it. I simply didn't believe him.
I believe you now, Zack. I saw it in your face today. It wasn't your words that convinced me, not really. It was in your eyes. I am ready to own you, to truly make you mine, to give you what you need to make your life complete. You may not be my 24/7 slave physically, but I do own you - I own the essence of you. I know who you really are and I know you belong to me alone, regardless of what the rest of the world sees.
FUCK! I am so excited to experience what is to come, and to experience it with you, Zack. Only with you.
Sarah
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