Reflections...

It feels so good to be here and to be here (at this point in my life) with Zack is a bonus. He fulfills my every need - even my need to be a bitch at times.

I can almost see him quiver with anticipation when that is how I am on any given day. Where others always head for the hills when the bitch shows up, Zack gets excited. It feels good to know I can be myself with him. I will confess, there are still those moments when I get insecure and worry that if I am a bitch or if I have to discipline him, he will leave me. I constantly try to get past that. Once the apartment is set up, Zack's training will begin again in earnest. Watch this site for the details.

His training will include a wide range of activities. Zack has ADD. I do as well but not to the extent he does. I want to train him to focus. Oh, I know he won't be perfect, no one is, but Zack tends to use his ADD as an excuse. We are going to work on that. Training is also going to include new ways I will use him, use his body, to dominate and control him. He knows what's coming - I want to dominate him ultimately and that include fucking his ass. There will be no better way to demonstrate my total ownership of his body; the idea of this excites me greatly. I think when I reach this level of control there will be nothing greater. I will have accomplished what we both want and need.

I know this causes Zack some anxiety, this is very much uncharted territory for us both. But his comfort and safety is first and foremost in my mind. I hope he can trust me when I say I promise pleasure like he has never experienced before. And in doing that for him will bring me immense pleasure as well.

We have come too far, *I* have come too far to be happy without a slave, without submission- I want that submissive to be Zack. I want my sexual slave to be Zack so it is important to me not to fuck this up.

It feels very good to have this apartment. It is a lot closer to Zack than my other home. I feel much more content just being in closer proximity to Zack. It doesn't necessarily mean we will be able to spend more time together (although I hope we will) it just feels good having a place for us, a "dungeon" for us and to know he is near.

I am going to be more demanding. I am going to be more disciplined myself. I am going to be more structured. And both of us are going to be so much happier for it.

What's the expression? "A future so bright I gotta wear shades".
That's us.
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