2012 is going to be a year like no other! I have been awake for the past hour thinking only of Zack and the future. I am finally "getting it", Zack. And I think you are as well. I think we are coming to a new understanding - of ourselves and of each other - an understanding of the needs and desires we have to be complete.
We have said this so often - it brings each of us great pleasure to please the other. I am learning that your servitude brings you great pleasure - the more you are able to serve, the happier you are. My goal is strictly your happiness - you have gone too far in your life without it - and when I am able to deliver happiness upon you, it pleases me very very much. But there is more to it than just pleasing each other. For the first 2 years of our relationship we tried that. We worked hard at it, but from our limited, vanilla perspectives.We did not know what we wanted/needed ourselves, how could we possibly satisfy the other? Not understanding ourselves and each other brought us both great unhappiness at times.
How utterly grateful I am to that interview (about Domme women) and the conversations that have ensued. It was like a grand door opening for us both to walk through. I wish we were able to share our individual journeys and our personal enlightenment with others. Perhaps we could help other lost souls realize their potential. Perhaps we could enlighten the world to the power, the commitment, the honesty and the sheer love an M/s relationship requires, that it isn't about pain, power over, humiliation or even ownership. It is about being honest with yourself and each other about your own needs and desires, about putting your partner before all else, about being so committed to the happiness of the other that you will do whatever it takes to accomplish that. It is about accepting the other completely without conditions, or without judgment. And it is about pure and honest love.
It is amazing how quickly a life can turn around. I am so grateful to the events put into place so many years ago that brought me directly to you, Zack. Looking back, it reminds me that our fates are sealed - our paths are destined and my destiny has always been you. I often bemoan the fact that we didn't meet sooner, but if we had, we would not have been the same people, I don't think we would have been ready for this and we would have missed our "NOW" entirely. What a tragedy that would have been.
So, here is my New Year's Resolution:
I resolve to be honest with myself, to recognize that the person I am is deserving of you and all you have to offer. I resolve to a commitment of helping you grow, of nurturing the wonderful man that you are, to helping you reach the great potential I see within you. I resolve to not hold back from you and in doing so, giving you what you want and need to be the happiest you can be as well. I resolve a commitment to your safety and well-being, to not only listening to you but to hear you as well, and to also hear what you are not saying.
And above all, I resolve to loving you with all the desire and passion that is in me.
Without you, I am nothing. We are Yin & Yang, Ego & Alter-Ego, Light & Dark, Balance & Counter-Balance. Purely 2 sides of the same coin. There can be nothing greater than this.
I Love You.
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