I have been on one, that is for sure. Today was not the best of days - I was at the apartment all day. Since I have the furniture advertised, I had people coming by to buy and pick up. I was actually doing ok, until I agreed to sell the bedroom furniture to the new tenant. I came a little unhinged then and when she left I broke down and cried.
I made this decision to give up the apartment. I have to live with it. I am not going to belabor the reasons or try to rationalize something that doesn't need it. I've listed all my wonderful reasons for making this decision here. At the end of the day, I think it IS the right thing to do - for both of us. But I do love that place, I love that bed, and I love all the times I have spent there with zack. I will grieve this, and that is expected.
I spoke to zack just before I was leaving this evening. he asked how I was doing and I started to cry. I tried not to - but I couldn't help it. He is such a man - and we know how men are when a woman cries. That's the time they run in the opposite direction - the time when you actually need them the most. zack is taking responsibility for my sadness. he feels that it is his fault I am doing this and I am unhappy now as a result. I wish he wouldn't do that. I could have chosen not to give it up. The responsibility is mine. I have 1 more week there. I will spend my last night there next Wed. And the sun will shine again.
We will get through this, of that I am certain.
As always,
Love, Mistress Sarah
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